I have a girlfriend who wants me to jerk off

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Andrewb123, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. Andrewb123

    Andrewb123 New Fapstronaut

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    So, Ive been doing the nofap challenge for almost a month now and there have been some really positive results. I met someone one week after I quit jerking off, and i made out with her and now were both dating. On the end of one of my dates with her, she said that she wasn't in the mood for sex, but she said that she would love to watch me jerk off while she masturbates too. I was on the fence about the whole idea, but I did it last night. Did I fail the challenge? Can I touch myself if she wants me to?
     
  2. Tacotaco

    Tacotaco Fapstronaut

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    Um this sounds like a really weird scenario, so honestly I don't have any advice for you. But why don't you just finger her next time while she gives you a handjob?
     
  3. EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    So it is like this: You and she, both lying naked on a bed, but separately, and masturbating ?

    Well, I personally would not feel good about this. I sounds like a disconnected game.

    Don't you boith to cuddle? Do you kiss each other? Do you touch each other in any way? (At least holding hands?)
     
  4. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    Guys, remember to use the NSFW tags... This might cause someone to relapse.

    Ummm... If I was in your situation, I would tell her that I wouldn't comfortable doing something like that.

    ~Squeaky Soul
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2014
  5. Andrewb123

    Andrewb123 New Fapstronaut

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    This was both one of our first times that we have ever been sexual and I didn't think to much of it. Also, sorry fir being vauge, let me get into more detail [NSFW] We were both facing each other on her bed. I was making moves, and she noticed that. Being very shy about sex, she told me that she didnt want to go too far, so I asked what she wanted to do. She said lets watch each other masturbate and while it was a little weird, it still never bothered me and it seemed to me that she still enjoyed it. We are still talking to each other and enjoy each others company, but maybe the next time I'm in this situation, We can talk about how she feels about sex and if there are problems in the relationship, we will cross that bridge when we come to it, but as of now I see no problems.[/NSFW]

    The question that I want answered is, did I fail the nofap challenge because someone wanted me to. I can't stop thinking that in a way, I failed.

    Also, I am sorry, I am new here. I don't mean for anyone to relapse because they read my post.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2014
  6. beto

    beto Fapstronaut

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    Im just going to quote the main page of this website

    So i wouldn't be too concerned. If i would've been in that situation though I would've just said i'm not too fond on doing it.

    Aaaand i'd reset the counter, you know you could avoid the situation. Leave the task to her next time :p
     
  7. IWantABetterLife22

    IWantABetterLife22 NoFap Moderator

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    This is a natural sexual activity that a lot of people do. Also, I would recommend experimenting with [NSFW]her jerking you off while you get her off[/NSFW]. As to resetting your counter, that's up to you.
     
    rave756 likes this.
  8. Gerbrald

    Gerbrald Fapstronaut

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    As it was an experience with your gf it is no problem and your mind was not on P but on her. Totally difrent.
     
    rave756 likes this.
  9. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    In my own personal journey I wouldn't partake of this. All my deeds come from my woman or not at all mate. She knows that I don't fap anymore and is actually trying more often to engage with me sexually. Just explain to her it's not something you feel comfortable doing if that's how you feel.
     
  10. manolo578

    manolo578 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe have her pleasure you instead of having her watch you. In my eyes, I don't think it would count as a reset considering you're with another person and you are both pleasuring from the experience.
     
  11. M3ALW0RM

    M3ALW0RM New Fapstronaut

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    Well I find its ok. It's just your first time with this girl after all. So, in my book, that's fine. Just, don't only do that, then it gets weird.
     
  12. December

    December Fapstronaut

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    Depends on your personal goals. Did you want to stop M specifically or did you just want porn out of your life? No one can tell you if you were right or because it's dependent on your goals.
     
  13. MrsBittersweet

    MrsBittersweet New Fapstronaut

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    Just a thought... if she's shy about sex she might be asking you to do this so that she can learn about what you like in a nonverbal sense. Meaning watching you taught her something about how & where you like to be touched. Some girls are just shy & it's as simple as that. They don't feel comfortable asking so they just watch & learn. She meant you no harm & she will feel more comfortable with more or going farther in no time. I feel like if you enjoy each other & you're engaging in sexual activities that make you both feel good & that you're both comfortable with then you're good to go!

    As far as breaking the challenge... I'm sort of with December's post from above regarding personal goals.
     
    rave756 likes this.
  14. Rootbeerdude

    Rootbeerdude Fapstronaut

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    Hey man congrats!

    I feel like I am going to echo a lot of people. But your goals are your goals. I probably would have done the same thing honestly, [NSFW] though part of me thinks that I would have been able to at least give her oral. After that she would have likely wanted to return the favor. If I care about a girl, I love to give oral. And after you've got them to cum, they love to reciprocate. [/NSFW] I would not reset my counter, if it was my goal because I feel that is sex and not PMO. Even though M was there, it was sex in my book.

    I've only done that once before. I forget why exactly [NSFW] I think she was getting one of those inter-uterine birth control devices either in or out. I called it the claw, or pussy tooth because it would bite me! So that's why it came out. But we decided to each masturbate right next to each other... It was OK for that scenario haha. But we never did it again. [/NSFW] Like someone else said, that was probably the perfect first move, and your sex life will progress quickly from here as you take a step further each time while still respecting each other's boundaries and emotions.

    Cheers!
     
  15. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Andrewb123, What you've described is a perfectly natural step toward sex, for partners who are interested but also shy. If you were comfortable with it and she was comfortable with it, no harm. If you feel like it messes with your nofap goals, talk to her about those feelings and maybe don't repeat the act.

    Personally, I would definitely categorize what you were doing together as a kind of sex, (not like solo masturbation) and pretty safe sex too, psychologically at least, since you weren't touching each other.

    Though, btw, you have to be careful about what happens to fluids afterward. I know someone whose parents claim he was conceived unintentionally without anyone's "virginity" being lost, in a heavy petting scenario with no direct contact, much like what you've described. So um, wash hands and take precautions. Seriously.
     
    rave756 likes this.
  16. Siloam Levi

    Siloam Levi Banned

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    Yes tough question. Do you want to stop ejaculating forever? If so, then you will have to let your girlfriend know this and also fill her in on the reasons for it. I have a friend I haven't seen in years. I don't even have the confidence to approach her unless I have 10+ days NoFap time under my belt, so there's a perfect reason to give up MO and the orgasm right off the bat, so to speak.

    I fantasised about [NSFW]ejaculating on this girl's face[/NSFW]. Disgusting? Maybe, but some women actually like it. I don't know if it's more dangerous for one's g/f to dislike [NSFW]cumshots and handjobs[/NSFW] and to get angry with you for MOing, or to like them and provoke you to keep MOing etc. Probably the former, because if she wants you to keep up your NoFap program then she has your best interests in mind and is not just fixated on a few seconds of animal pleasure.

    Considerate women like that are like rare jewels nowadays :)
     
  17. Rewired

    Rewired Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
     
  18. LESIO

    LESIO Fapstronaut

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    Personally, I would reset my counter. But that's your choice so I can't make the call. Also depends if you're doing hard mode.
     
  19. EBENEZER

    EBENEZER New Fapstronaut

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  20. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    I guess it depends on what you want your limits to be.. I am not masturbating at all my wife also knows I'm doing nofap and iv'e told her i'm no masturbating but we do have sex. For me I would reset, but for other people try not to have sex so it's your goals completely.
     

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