I Keep Pushing People Away

Its been a few years since I've had friends. A lot of them either moved away, got married or simply just ghosted. I'm not on social media because no one really posts on my page and its boring. I want to have friends but it's difficult because I'm overweight which hurts my confidence and I hate going outside my door.

I am working on losing weight and various other activities that may help me become more interesting. I use to be the goofball and enjoy making people laugh. However, it got to a point where I couldn't tell if people were laughing with me or at me. It got to a point where I had eject myself from people entirely. I can make small talk and even smile when strangers engage me and they seem to be genuine. This usually happens most at work but, right now, part of my wants to be alone because I feel it will help stay focus on my goals.

It just that the feelings of loneliness usually drive me to do toxic behavior and I don't know if I can still have some form of interaction with other people while still trying to lose weight.

 

@angelpart I was thinking something similar. Honestly, when I don't think about and just go for it, I can be the life of the party and make everyone laugh. I've been on dates before but it never led to a relationship. I believe that the majority of it is in my head. However, I've always been made fun of for my weight when growing so that is something I never really could get over so losing would probably benefit me psychologically as well as physically.

@Fullyawake Sounds like she just playing games and you should start looking for a woman who actually values your time more, man.