This is gonna be a long post. Age: 17 I started NoFap because of HOCD, that was a year ago. Ever since then I have been struggling with nofap and I dealt with my HOCD fears and problems. The issue is my environment. I go to sixth form currently and I don't have any friends. Just acquiescence. About two years earlier I was very happy and had a lot of friends. I lost most of them because of a big fight and a lot of verbal abuse. I got into three fights and got my ass kicked. Because of this I lost all of my confidence and people just never looked at me the same. All I do now is sit at home and play games. Everyone that I could possibly hang out with is either friends with the people that laughed at me or just doesn't like me in general. None of this really bothers me but its really hard doing nofap when its focused on socialing and making new friends. I can't go to parties anymore because the people that I had a falling out with are the ones that host all the parties. I try to go to gym and keep a smile on my face but deep down I feel like shit. It makes me want to use porn atleast to dull the pain because nothing has changed. I am not gonna use porn but the thought always lingers. Furthermore the girl that I really liked sent all of our dm's to the guys that used to verbally harass me. let me get this straight I am confident and extroverted, I just really don't know what to do about this situation. I am really glad to be going to uni next year but I have no way of really getting a social life. My really close friend just moved away after all the harassment. I've been thinking really deeply about all of this and im stumped. Help me please, I don't know if I can keep doing this. Also I can't kick there arses because im on final warning in my sixth form.
I get you man, my experience was kind of the same, I experienced minor bullying, before uni, ended up being an introvert even more, lost the ability to socialise When I started uni, I met different people, people whose company I enjoyed, so it helped me grow. I hope the same will happen to you, once you enter university. What concerns nofap, you made great progress when you started to go to the gym. I think you should continue to do this, because it will make you feel a hell of a lot better about yourself, you will gain self esteem, confidence and people will start to look at you differently, if they care about the outside that much. To be honest, the gym isn't a place to smile at, you go in there to work hard, you're supposed to feel like shit squating, benching heavy weights, but at the end of a good workout session, the feeling is just amazing. If you struggle with motivation or other stuff, you can message be, would be happy to help you out, if I am able to.
I've been through similar roads before just like the one you're going through. Bullying turned me into a social outcast and a "antisocialistic" rebel, thus compelling me to adopt the line "I hate everyone cuz' no one understands me!" while I was a kid (around 10 yrsold). A decade has passed and I managed to get to College which was my social savior. I met many people that I enjoyed talking to, and never once have I experienced such joy and laughter while surrounded by people I never though I'd meet. I had this negativity parasiting within my soul but time proved me wrong, and slowly is teaching me how make amends with my past. It's proving to be a challenging, tough and delicate moment in my life, but with determination we all can reach the stars one day. I believe if you make your way to Uni you will connect with many people who has similar problems as yours, therefore constructing very strong friendships with people you can trust, just like I finally did.
