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I need to start going out again

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by NotSoAverageJoe, Jul 26, 2017.

  1. Jul 26, 2017 #1
    NotSoAverageJoe

    NotSoAverageJoe Fapstronaut

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    honestly I'm sick of the loneliness, having zero women in my life outside of family.

    I have really low confidence and self esteem, it makes the addiction worse. I haven't talked to a cute girl in so long it's driving me nuts!

    The only way to really make progress is to build my self esteem, which involves going out.

    I'm out of school next week and want to start going out 1-2 nights a week. I have to put myself back into the dating pool before I lose all hope.

    I could care less about 90 days, I must approach women regardless of relapsing or not.

    I stopped going out the last year and have gotten more depressed. I will go out mostly sober, maybe a drink or two. Also I bought phenibut and its supposed to kill social anxiety.

    A part of the rebooting phase MUST include learning to communicate and be intimate with real women. Fuck going hard mode for a year or however long you decide. That's just bullshit.

    Porn and sex addiction are rooted in a fear of intamacy, I'm a 26yr old virgin and I can barely imagine myself having sex without feeling uncomfortable. It's ridiculous. This fear has stopped me and held me back far too long. Just because I have an addiction doesn't mean I should hide at home all the time. The cave you fear to enter the most is where the treasure lies.

    Final exam Friday next week then I'm going out to have as much fun as possible. If I end up relapsing after well at least I went out and tried right?

    Waiting to start dating until after the "reboot" is silly and proposterous!
     
    NotSoAverageJoe, Jul 26, 2017
    NotSoAverageJoe, Jul 26, 2017
    #1
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. Jul 26, 2017 #2
    TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

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    You don't have to wait till school ends to start. Do it today, the power of now is strong and impactful. Start working on your confidence and self esteem issues right now. Fear is like a big scary wolf, if you let it be. The reality is fear will always try to stop you. If you let it stop you then you will see it as a Big Bad Wolf, but if you see it as a little puppy barking at you then sure it still is hounding you but it's a little puppy. What is it going to do to you? Stop you from being happy with women and dating? That is all up to you. You can conquer fear do not let a small little dog bark at you and scare you shitless. Instead let it motivate you to go past it and prove it wrong. You got this dude fear is weak compared to your perseverance if you keep pushing.

    -TheBigBadWolf
     
    TheBigBadWolf, Jul 26, 2017
    TheBigBadWolf, Jul 26, 2017
    #2
  3. Jul 27, 2017 #3
    bh358

    bh358 Fapstronaut

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    loneliness? Do you not have any friends? As someone that has been in relationships for 1 year out of 35 years of existence. Yeah I miss being with someone. But that shouldn't stop you from having fun and being happy.
     
    bh358, Jul 27, 2017
    bh358, Jul 27, 2017
    #3
  4. Jul 27, 2017 #4
    vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    I thought the same way as you do for a very long time. Until I decided to give up porn & masturbation. You're already on the way to the bright side! The longer you abstain the more comfortable you will feel around women & with initimacy. It's not magic, it's just the changing brain chemistry.

    And of course you don't have to wait with dating & stuff until you finished your reboot. I think it could benefit your confidence & motivation. I don't want to be a moralizer, but I would try it without the phenibut. I don't know what it is, I just googled it and it looks like some kind of drug? (Correct me when I'm wrong) All I want to say is that you will probably never beat your social anxiety if you try to suppress it with some kind of drug. I took amphetamines for a while to hide my insecurities and it made things worse very, very quick.

    I made incredible progress with beating my social anxiety with meditation and NoFap.

    All the best to you.
     
    vibemaker, Jul 27, 2017
    vibemaker, Jul 27, 2017
    #4
    rivct10145 likes this.

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