I have been watching porn ever since I was 12 years old, I am 24 now. I can say that as I have got older my addiction has become a bigger part of my life. At one point I was watching it 3-4 times a day, looking at it on my phone even when I wasn't aroused. I fap max twice a day now, usually though it is only once but I know that my behaviour isn't healthy, I still look at porn a few times an hour even when I am not masturbating, and I think I know why. I often feel like I haven't got much going on in life, I often times feel lonely and I honestly believe that when these bad feelings come in, my first instinct is to turn to that dopamine release that porn provides and over time it has solidified as this ''routine'' that I do, even when I don't feel like it. Sometimes I spend hours watching porn because I can't get aroused because deep down I know that I don't even want to watch it. I guess this is a call for help, I have tried NoFap before but usually fail after a few days, but before I wasn't aware of the reason why I was turning to porn. Anyone know where I can go from here? Thank you for reading my story, hope you're all well.
I would like to congratulate you for speaking honestly and openly and admitting your problems. This is the first and most important step in healing yourself. So you've figured out that you watch porn because it is a good distraction from the feelings of loneliness and having a dull lifestyle. The next step is very similar to what you've just discovered: you must find out why you have these feelings. What causes you to feel lonely, or like you don't have much going on in life? The answer is likely very deep and possibly an answer that you've ignored or buried for a long time. Could it be emotional trauma, or a dysfunctional childhood? These are often the root causes of feelings which lead to things like addiction. I believe that the obvious next step for you is to seek psychiatric care. Find a therapist - maybe one who specializes in addiction. These people are trained to help you discover the reasons behind your issues and how to heal from them. Very best of luck to you!
My thought (and that only): A way to start is begin at the beginning. Set a day counter for yourself. (For me, if I’m not keeping score I’m not in the game.) Then you proceed from there. These forums are full of advice. I’m an addict with decades of failure, so getting advice from me is like asking a 500 lb. lady for diet tips. I do try to give some perspective on something I am an expert at though, and it is just that: failure. I know what it looks like. My thoughts are in my journal. Not to be a dickhead, but it’s there if anyone cares, so I won’t blather on here. Best wishes
