This came out way longer than I intended, sorry I am 23M, have had this addiction since being a young teenager (13, 12, not sure exactly when it started). I think the longest I have gone that entire time without PMO is two weeks. I left the faith during college and "reverted" back recently, and that experience has dealt a massive blow to my desire for P, although the addiction is far from gone. Doing an intense fast and prayer regimen this past Lent shifted something inside me, so that now I can't convince myself that PMO is good, even if I try. Despite this, I'm still addicted and I still fall regularly (again, the longest I've gone is 2 weeks) even though I don't want to do it. Last night, after relapsing, I ran into a video on youtube in which an Orthodox priest talks about overcoming PMO addiction, and something that he said really clicked with me: He said that when you're young you get hooked on PMO to cope with life problems that arise during that time, and as you grow older your personality never develops to deal with those problems, since it's falling back on PMO. Personally, one constant cause of distress in my life has been this constant feeling that I'm not fully developed. Like I'm not a full person. Socially, I have always struggled and suffered because of it. I never had many friends because of how hard it's been to socialize. I never thought to make the connection with PMO in such a direct way. He goes on to say that in order to deal with the addiction, you have to create a space between the desire and the act, and deal with what is contained in that space which is exactly that: the part of you that has not developed. Here is the video which explains it better: One thing that he insists on is that you can't do it alone. I sort of already understood that, but I was hoping that going to Confession and maybe having an online accountability partner might be enough, but so far it has not. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that I need to find somebody to talk to in person but there's no one in my life currently who would fit the bill. The only friend I have where I live is my roommate (who is not Christian) and although we get along, we're not that close that I would talk to him about this. I thought about a priest, but again, I'm not close with any of the ones in my church and I also feel like it would be better with someone who has experience with the addiction. Does anybody have advice on how to find someone to talk to? I feel like the most undeveloped part of me is my socialization skills, so that makes it harder. Hope all that makes sense.
Hey buddy, are you able to find support groups in your diocese? Sex Addicts Anonymous? Therapy or mental health counseling? Maybe guys from church who have done Exodus 90 or other men's groups.
I moved to a new parish about two years ago. After mass one day I attempted to make conversation with the priest by remarking that I had learned he was once a lawyer before joining the seminary. He brightened up a bit and said that the priesthood has so much in common with legal profession. I thought he meant that both require lots of study and attention to detail, etc. That wasn't his point at all. He said both professions are meant to help people. Frankly, I am probably a bit prejudiced by modern society and I have never seen lawyers in that light but then I am not a lawyer. My point is this. Go see a priest. I have known many of them and with few exceptions, I would say they all want to help people with kindness and understanding. Best of all, these men have many years of training and study. It takes a lot intellect to become a priest and thus most of them are pretty wise people as well as understanding people. If speaking to one face to face is intimidating, perhaps you might start by meeting one in confession and telling them a bit about what you are struggling with and when you are comfortable you could ask to meet them outside of the confessional.
Please let me add, I guesstimate that I have received the sacrament of confession a couple of hundred times in my life. No priest ever refused to convey God's forgiveness to me. With only one or two exceptions, the priest was more understanding and anxious to help me see God's desire to forgive me than I was to forgive myself. On almost every occasion, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders after making a sincere and honest confession. It makes me feel like it is time for a celebration. I must offer one caution, however. The devil hates the sacrament of confession. He will try to stop you from attending by making you feel too ashamed to speak with a priest. After you receive confession be prepared, the evil one will often put temptation in front of you but don't fear it, ask Jesus to manage these temptations for you and do your part by turning away from them.
Hey @lunaisgood4444 thanks for the youtube link, I'll have to contact Fr. also cos I'm in much the same predicament, again thanks alot and may God's grace be sufficient for you and us in this struggle, Amen!!
