I'm so tired of feeling like this

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by iwilltryok, May 20, 2020.

  1. iwilltryok

    iwilltryok New Fapstronaut

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    I feel numb. I feel nothing. Porn is the one of the many things that give me 'excitement' or that excited feeling. Its like the closest thing to happiness I'll feel. I'm such a fucked up person. I want to hurt.
     
    Ghost79 and RestlessEngineer like this.
  2. RestlessEngineer

    RestlessEngineer Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, i'm sorry you feel that way i know how it is and how fucked up the feeling can be but don't give up man.

    I had the same problem as you way back when i first started nofap and always get it again after a relapse, don't let it get to you too much and try to get rid of it by doing something that will make you feel good about yourself.
    For example i always try to exercise when i'm feeling down, just 10 to 15 minutes a day but when i'm done with it and know i did something to make myself better i feel a little happier than before.

    Maybe give it a try sometime, it can be as small as just studying, finding a fun hobby, meditation, yoga or working out for a little while and see if it can help you get rid of the numb feeling and make you feel better about yourself.

    I hope this can help you a little and if yoh ever need someone to just talk to if you need some advice you know where to find me.
     
  3. NeedSomeHelp2

    NeedSomeHelp2 Fapstronaut

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    Noone is fucked up. Everyone can change. Don't give up. Joining the community was a first great step.
    Get happy things into your life! Get hobbies, a pet, valuable friendships, a partner. Get healthier! Helps a lot. Start exercising.
    Get an accountibility partner whom you can share your progress.
    Fill your life up. Porn is only good while you don't have anything else thats better.
    Good luck with your recovery and your self inprovement!
     
    Dorito likes this.
  4. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    Don't harm yourself like this my friend. Stick to your challenge. Don't feel alone in this as we ar with u. We have experience d the same and porn life is a waste. Spend time with your friends. Talk to them about this. It helped me.
    Don't think that I ar not getting any benifits. Think of this trauma as a teaser of what truly awaits for u in the future.
    Cheers
     
  5. Black jack

    Black jack Fapstronaut

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    I also feel numb as i broke my previous streak 7 days ago i can understand your situation but its worth to fight you have to fight for yourself for your life for your inner peace even in hospital the machine beeps means fluctuations in line thats life it occur but horrible part is giving up means flat line means nothing and you know that right so get up gear up yourself and say hey p i am no longer your slave just get lost and make a diary journal and regular check your thoughts it helps by checking thoughts questioning them ask them it is right or wrong or you are selling yourself to devil for 5 min relief you can do it whole community is with you
     
  6. Saitama1000

    Saitama1000 Fapstronaut

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    Porn addiction destroys you. Thats the only truth. Don’t let it take over your life. You are stronger than porn. Keep up the fight.
     
    Dorito likes this.
  7. Dipper Pines

    Dipper Pines Fapstronaut

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    Dude, that numbness is something I definitely experience when I look at porn. Sometimes, I think I look at porn in order to feel that numbness. Problem is, when we numb the pain, we also numb the joy. Facing reality kinda sucks (Look at my counter! I know that feeling). However, to deny reality is the heart of emotional unhealth. You say you want to hurt. I get that. Numbing creates its own kind of pain.

    The odd thing is too, you mentioned that porn provides you with the most "happiness" you currently can feel. Dude, this isn't happiness. Listen to your body and notice how you feel next time you look or masturbate or orgasm. Doesn't it suck?

    I hope you're doing better by this point friend
     
    Elm0, El Grumch and IbrahimViking like this.
  8. IbrahimViking

    IbrahimViking Fapstronaut

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    It's because you want to take too big of a leap, friend. Depression to excitement. It's impossible, because of the nature of your psyche.
    So, when you distract yourself thoroughly - like you do with porn - you feel strong relief, but then it bounces back, like a rubber band that was stretched aaaall the way back.
    You see?
    I suggest that you spend a day or even a week just noticing what you're feeling. Notice time to time - do you feel numb? Bored? Depressed? Just notice it, or, better yet, write it down. You cannot feel nothing - a feeling that feels like nothing is also a feeling. Numb is a feeling. At this stage it's important not to try to change how you feel. Just notice. That alone can bring you great relief. You won't stay there, you'll progress to feeling even better, but start with that. I'm almost sure that you are making yourself feeling worse by noticing the numb, unexcited feeling and condemning yourself for it.
    Once you know fairly well how you feel most of the time without the judgment you lay on yourself and an unrealistic expectation of feeling super freaking happy all the time, tell us what you've discovered, and try to feel RELIEF, not "excitement". Not relief in the future, as you think will feel better after you do something, but relief in the actual doing of the activity, right now.
     
    El Grumch likes this.
  9. Dontwantporn

    Dontwantporn Fapstronaut

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    Hi Iwilltryok, I know and I understand. Today being one of the longest days I've had because I have noone to communicate with and I don't want to look at porn, don't want to masturbate, and orgasm, and yet it's the only thing I have that makes me happy and yet I hate it. Having said that I still was looking at suggestive images fantasizing about the women all because in the end I want to escape from reality which really means detach myself, from myself because I hate myself. Best example I can give is in the second or third Superman movie with Christopher Reeves he comes into contact with kryptonite and you see the evil side of him separate from the good and they both are in a battle for control, that's what I've been going through since puberty rarely is the time where I dont have an issue which can be triggered by so many things primarily thought, then whatever I may see around me women who are scantily clothed or movies even the old black and white movies although the women were dressed better then, but stupid me I do a google search and see that there are pics of them that are not so decent; talk about digging my own grave. But for fuck sake. I know how you feel and I'm here to help, although I think I'm the one that needs more help than anyone here. So if you can do me a favour and check up on me? That would be awesome:(
     
  10. k123

    k123 Fapstronaut

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    This is why we joined this forum in the first place. To learn how to deal with such feelings,remember you are a GOOD person that deserves happiness. And no you are not fucked up person,you deserve everything good that this life has to offer.
     
    Ghost79, Dorito and IbrahimViking like this.

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