In it for the long haul

Just finished up a 5 hour fap session and I'm ready to fall asleep but before that I want to make a commitment to never do it again

It just wastes too much time and I suspect it has a negative effect on my mood. I wish I had more than a suspicion... sometimes I have bad days after a week of nofap and sometimes I feel good on a masturbation day. And of course I use that knowledge to rationalize my bad behavior but I'm pretty sure it's bad behavior because I usually feel like shit after masturbating and I usually feel good after days of abstaining.

As for the amount of time I waste doing it... Ironically, one of the reasons I caved in today was due to wasting time with sexual fantasies when I should have been working. I figured, might as well crank one out real quick so I can focus more fully. But that maybe works, 1 out of 5 times. 4/5 times my work suffers because of it. Eh, I guess gambling is exciting

But I've had enough of it. I've watched lifetimes worth of porn, enough that I really shouldn't miss it. All of the images and videos I've seen over the years are only wasting my brain capacity, potentially restricting my full potential.

What could I have achieved by now if I had used my time towards more productive means than masturbating? I guess that's a stupid question. The better question is: What can I achieve now that I've stopped masturbating? Through the extra time I will have, and through the potential of sexual transmutation, surely I can achieve great things, right?

It will be a challenge but I'm reasonably confident. I went about 2 weeks in late December (and ironically I broke the streak at the very end of December / beginning of January as some sort of "fuck you" to New Years Resolutions). Two years before that I went about 3-4 weeks. That was back when I first heard about nofap. Back then, I was so busy (working 16 hour days), that I routinely only fapped once or twice a week and it never included the ridiculous fap sessions that I used to partake in during long stretches of free time. Basically, it was easier back then.

Now, I'm self-employed. I'm mostly accountable to only myself. There's a lot of power that comes with that but it can also be a challenge. My current goal is to once again keep myself busy enough that I won't have time to jerk off ever again.