I'm a man on a quest. That's poetic, isn't it ? I'm currently listening to the soundtrack of the main theme of the game "One Piece : World Seeker". It's a sick OST. My true name is Etienne and I'm a french 24 years old virgin. I'm here because I also wish to stop watching porno and wanking in general. My kind of porn videos are BDSM videos including tickling, foot fetishism and forced orgasms, soft or hardcore, on women (mainly), men (I insist on the fact I'm hetero) and... others... Sometimes, it's videos, sometimes it's just pictures. But looking at the long term good beneficial consequences of quitting all of this, and considering my obvious addiction, I want to take back my life. I tried many times to get my shit together but failed each time, hence why I'm here. I'm mostly here to talk about me, like the selfish piece of shit I am. The path is going to be a tough one. Nice to meet y'all and godspeed.
Welcome to the community. That's fine. We expect you to talk about yourself since you are the one that's having your problem. Talking about yourself is good because it helps you to come to terms with what is happening to you. You do need to get out the shame and the anger that you no doubt feel. I found my courage here talking about what I was going through. I eventually found enough courage to talk to my loved ones about what has been happening and that has been very very helpful. You will find the strength to go 7 days. Then 14, then a month and on and on. But you have to commit to this thing fully. You have to find a goal and focus on it. If your goal is "to stop looking at porn and masturbating for the rest of my life" then that might not be enough. That might be too open-ended. You might want to set a goal which is at a point in time that way it can be achieved in reality. I would say that goal should be a 90 day reset. Get your brain back to normal first, then you can push towards other goals (180 days, perhaps?) and then before you know it, you are porn and masturbation free, one goal at a time. Good luck!
I agree with Delta Tango on making your goal more measurable. I know our ultimate goal is to be free of pornography and I would like to be free of masturbating as well, but setting a measure to a goal helps us quantitatively track the goal completion process. What I look forward to do is celebrate small milestones as I seek to reach my 90 day PMO goal, such as 7 days, 14 days, a month, etc.
Etienne, the One Piece:World Seeker OST is amazing so thank you very much for that. I know what it feels like to be a piece of shit and I argue that I rank much higher on the POS scale than you do. I have been a porn addict for more than a decade and for the last three years I have been looking for hookups and prostitutes to feel a connection with someone and experience that dopamine overload. I have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on prostitutes and have been scammed numerous times. I'm telling you this because I know what the shame and regret and anger feels like. I hope that as we seek our journey of recovery together, we can let go of the past and fight for a better future. Stay strong, brother.
One of the things that I do not do, brothers is try to shame myself into being better. And neither should you. You are not a piece of shit. You are a human being who has found himself in a situation that he is trying to get out of. Calling yourself names will not make this journey any easier or make it more successful. You really have to start seeing yourself as being worthy of being better. I do not hate myself for being addicted to porn/masturbation for 30 years. I do not hate porn. I do not hate the act of masturbation. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven". If this is to be believed then so does porn and masturbation. The problem is that for those of us who are addicted to them, they have no season or purpose under the heaven at this time.
You’re right. Believing myself to be worthy of becoming better is crucial. I do not hate sex but right now I need a good PMO reboot to reassess how I can pursue a healthy and non-addictive sexual lifestyle.
Thanks for the warm welcome, people. I'll make to sure to follow all your advises. To talk more about myself, let's just say I would like to write an epic saga, like The Lord of the Rings or Attack of Titans, or One Piece in that matter. I love these stories that make people cheer, laugh, chill and water. And at the same time, I'm not a big fan of novels. I make it more complicated for me than it actually should be.
I'm the same way. I've actually be writing a novel for damn near 20 years and it's still not done. I had difficulty with it because I hate reading. I have about 4 ideas for novels floating around in my head but can't seem to put them down into words because I lack the skill. And the drive. One day I'll get it done and hopefully I can see the movies of my novels on either Netflix or Hulu. Fingers crossed.
I'm not an expert on the matter, but when it comes to me, since I'm more into dialogues than narration, I write a diary entirely with dialogue entries so it's more fun for me to write. It's not LOTR yet but it's a start.
I actually finished the first novel and submitted it to an agent, but I was told that they didn't handle my type of work (historical fiction). I found that strange because I found their name on a site that listed them as accepting HF stories. In any event, I decided to rework it a bit so that the ending didn't seem so rushed and dramatic. I am yet to delete, add, or change a single sentence in about three years.
Hi, welcome to the community I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations. Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with. It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc. This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me. ֍ You got this my friend ֍
