Introspection & Humble Beginnings

Hello World!

When I woke up this morning I had no idea what this site was, and my mental conception of Nofap was some weird cult on reddit that thinks it's immoral to masturbate. Now I'm registered, and this is my first post!

The inspiration for even googling for this site was simple; apparent PIED for the second time in two weeks. I'm 24 and have always been shy, and recently lost my virginity after getting out of my shell a little bit. However, both during the first time and for a couple times since then, I've had issues with getting and staying hard. Obviously after waiting for this long for the first experience, the trouble was both uncomfortable and unexpected (frankly, since the stereotype is for virgins to orgasm rather quickly). After finally trying to open up to girls in my life, to be met with this kind of issue I felt was unacceptable.

I read a few journals of those on here, and although I obviously took a certain amount of inspiration to try and start myself, I think I have a pretty different outlook on my actions than most. Up until recently, I've PMO'd once or twice a day for recent memory. Although this would take significant periods of time (often a couple hours a day, on occasion more), I never really considered it a huge problem and if I'm honest, still don't see it as terrible. I've never felt that porn took up too much of my life, or affected how I felt towards girls. I'm not religious and don't have any deep-seeded guilt that I'm abandoning my faith towards a deity. I actually think my mental health situation is quite strong, and I'm thankful for that. A significant part of it is because of my tendency to be easily satisfied with life, which I think is a major factor as to why porn became a big part of life to begin with; why risk heartbreak when you had a reasonably good solution risk-free?

However, this year has been a time where I've been looking to get out of my comfort zone to change for the better. I might not be sinning in my own mind, but an hour or two a day redirected to other things would be great. Obviously, the initial concerns about sexual anxiety are a major contributing factor as well. On self-improvement projects, I typically set small goals that are more attainable to start so I don't get overwhelmed, so I'll try it here; 15 days, no Porn at all. If it comes to it, I'll pre-allot one opportunity for orgasm for sanity within the time period, but no visual stimulants at all. Upon completion and feeling good, the next time period will be 30 days.

Being honest with myself, unlike many on here I don't think my ultimate goal is necessarily to never touch porn again. Maybe I remain naive, but I don't think occasional indulgence is to be feared; heck I might even endorse it. However, admittedly, the fact that going without it for 14 days is a challenging task for me indicates that I'm currently in well over my head, and need to regain some level of control of myself.

My initial thought upon starting is how I might need some kind of "chaser" or some kind of indulgence I can do/eat/drink when I get the urge, but I'm finding it difficult, since obviously you don't want to trade one addiction for another. Maybe I'll buy some watermelons and just start scooping cold watermelon. That actually sounds tasty and not as unhealthy as other options.

I'm going to start a reboot thread to check in with myself, with this post linked so I can look back on my starting point if I make progress, or if I fail to make progress. Let's do it!