I'm at day 50 without PM, and I've had struggles similar to many of you all per what I've seen on the forums. One interesting thing I've noticed is that I don't ever think of P or miss P. The struggles are always related to fantasy - seeing attractive females, wanting my SO to do something, situations at work, etc. So my question is: is this actually p addiction? Or is it sex addiction? Is the difference significant in how one should approach a reboot, or in how the brain needs to repair? Discuss
Wow, that's tough. I'm not expert here, but I'd say whether it's porn addiction or sex addiction, the same principles apply. It's not healthy either way. Sex addiction is just porn addiction without the vicarious aspect. Put the same things into practice, before this gets worse.
To an outsider it looks like to me you are replacing the porn with fantasy, be that women you see and fantasize about or replaying porn fantasies in your mind these are called psubs and this is likely the reason you don't miss pmo you are replacing it with something else. I dated an addict and he was never an oggler until he stopped porn and then it became so obvious that it was embarrassing. He was just replacing the porn with other women. He could also still never O during sex without fantasizing. Most people that suffer from pmo addiction or sex addiction have very serious intimacy issues. They can't be in the moment during sex, they can't fully give themselves to a partner and they see sexual pleasure and intimacy as two distinct things. Living in your fantasy world allows you to maintain this separation.
I did a 90 day reboot, well, it went about 140 days. Considering the amount of P I had consumed in my life, the thing that surprised me most was how little I wanted to actually look at P during my reboot. I guess I just had it in my head how damaging it was, so quitting P was actually the easy part. After awhile, I was convinced that my fantasies were the true culprits in my addiction. But fantasies and the sexually conditioned brain pathways were very difficult to change. So I picked up a few methods of dealing with fantasies which takes away their power and put them into practic. I also took on other hobbies in life to keep my brain occupied so it can heal. All in all, I would say that approaching a reboot should't be much different fundamentally. Stay away from P - it's always an effective aide regardless of what's the main problem. Don't M during the reboot - even if it's not the main problem, it just makes things more difficult by keeping the habits fresh and the chaser effect alive. And if you can stay away from sex during a reboot, staying away from O helps too. You just have to add some coping methods for fantasies and staying busy.
