Is it easier to quit porn with or without a girlfriend?

Good question. And so many variables but I will give my 2c!

Pros when single:
- driven to get a GF
- can concentrate on yourself more
- within a short time you can become much higher value, meaning when you do eventually get a GF they should be higher value as well
- having 'hard mode' no PMO being more likely, you can often reboot quicker

Cons when single:
- no healthy sexual outlet (assuming no sex outside of dating)
- don't have that moral support a partner can provide
- can lose motivation when times get tough

Pros when taken:
- extra moral support
- can see how the better/worse versions of you impact people more easily
- extra chance to rewire through sex
- opportunity to grow with partner, you appreciate them more, they appreciate you changing

Cons when taken:
- can become complacent, why change when you already have a girl?
- rewiring can take longer if you have sex too early, or too often


All of the above are generalisations and not rules of course, but they're just what I've experienced and read a lot of common reports of in this community.

Personally I haven't been in any long-term relationships. But I found in dating and casual relationships porn was still a problem for me. I am single and not dating now, but am in a better place with porn use.

So I think single or taken, porn use can be just as challenging an issue if we let it be.

 

In my experience, having a relationship does not mean to stop watching porn, on the contrary in the moments of quarrel or discussion porn could come back as predominant just as "compensation"; it doesn't matter if you have sexual relations, the PMO in my case has never gone away for this reason. One thing that could help could be to establish a connection based on mutual respect and thus have moral and effective support from the partner, but these are things to be evaluated in one's relationship.

 

Easier to quit in the early stages without a gf

But after a long streak its probably easier with a gf/partner

 

When I got a girlfirend and then a wife, I wouldn't do any PMO for about two years. Then I started MOing occasionally to improve performance in bed (alleviate PE). This was followed by occasional and spontaneous porn viewing (mosty stress induced).

But yes, definitely helps to have a SO. My addiction wasn't hardcore though; certainly not involving hours of porn watching on end and 5+ orgasms a day, like with some poor fellows here. I would be sitting in the shower tub for half an hour though sometimes... Thank Spaghetti Monster these times are over.

 

Addiction is addiction, whether you have a wife/gf or not.

I used to have a lot of sex with my previous gf and also consumed lot of porn the same time.

So addiction circuit will be there until you think something about it. You will get sexual pleasure by a partner but you'll still crave pmo.

 

In my personal opinion, the first five months of NoFap are easier when your single. Assuming you just have a PMO addiction and no porn-induced sexual dysfunctions. But after the first five months, I think it’s easier with a girlfriend/spouse.

If you have porn-induced sexual dysfunctions (PIED, DE, PE etc.), being single will be 100% easier on NoFap. Having a girlfriend/spouse may complicate your porn-induced sexual dysfunctions.

 

I'm not sure. But for some reason I don't think I would be anywhere near as obsessed with staying clean from porn if I was regularly having sex. I honestly don't know why this is. But I honestly do believe this. If I was regularly having sex I reckon my obsession with staying clean from porn would probably become much less.

I think I would probably still be aware of the harms of PMO even if I was regularly having sex, as I know what chronic PMO use can do to mental health. But yeah I think if I was regularly having sex I don't think I would still be in the mindset must not PMO ever. I think I probably wouldn't feel as worried about sometimes doing it if I was regularly having sex.

 

I haven't dated yet, but I believe it's not even -,-

 

This right here! My husband thought when he married it would go away and he’d stop. Instead he turned down sex daily while continuing to pmo.

 

IMO definitely easier to reboot with a long term partner, and during a rewire you pretty much need a stable sexual style, which means a girlfriend for most guys.

During the reboot, having a girlfriend allows you to dampen your urges and desires through kissing, cuddling, hugging, and other forms of touch. WHile doing these things your body releases hormones that block dopamine, calming you down physically and mentally. Performing sexual acts that do not involve your penis on your girlfriend, which are eating her out and fingering her, are a great way to get your sexual urges out while allowing your brain's sex centers to reboot. It's also just fun hahaha. Having a girlfriend to talk about your struggles, urges, and feelings is also immensely helpful.

During the rewire, you want to repeatedly have positive sexual encounters. This includes flirting, dating, touching, and sexual acts. Having a girlfriend pretty much guarantees this on a regular basis. Doing these over and over rewires your brain towards these normal sexual practices and away from porn. Over time these acts start to feel much more fulfilling and pleasurable, and your reactions to porn lessen over time.

There is no doubt in my mind having a girlfriend during a reboot and rewire is the way to go.

HOWEVER, you should not just get a girlfriend in order to help you reboot and rewire. That is the definition of objectification and is extremely unfair and dishonest. You should be flirting and dating, but settle down with someone for a while only if you make a good pair. Getting into a negative relationship will only hinder your healing.

 

In my experience there is no difference, sometimes I even go longer after M, so I don't really feel that there are any benefits of stopping.