Hello all, I'm participating in No Nut November this year just cause I want to challenge myself mostly. But I feel as though I may have an addiction as well so my reasoning is two-fold. Anyway, my girlfriend isn't happy about my decision to refrain from PMO and has actively stated that she'll continue to MO which is fine. But she keeps saying that she'll make me O even though I stated that I wanted to complete NNN. I told her that we can still have relations but we have to stop before the point of O and that I'd be willing to help.her in other ways. She is adamant on going against my wishes. Just curious on what your thoughts are? AITA?
I always thought the point of NNN was to help quit PMO. If you're having actually sex then i say keep orgasming with her.
Like they said above me nofap November is meant to encourage you to quit PM and does not really apply to healthy sexual relations, it is ok to orgasm to her but if it bothers you maybe limit yourself to 1 orgasm a week at the most.
Sex and intimacy is something you both partake in and benefit from, so any decision about that should come as a result of both of you communicating. You just deciding not to have sex ad her insisting on it unconditionally is not great communication. Talk to her about why you want to do NNN. If it's because you want to have better sexual function, more pleasurable sex, feel more connected to her, and be able to please her better, then let her know. I tell all my partners I'm with while rebooting that I'm taking a break from stimulation temporarily for the reasons I stated above. They're all really understanding, and most of theme are actually impressed attracted to it. If you're monogamous saying you're doing NNN because you want to have better sex and feel more connected to her she's gonna love it. You do have to compromise though, because she has needs and wants as well, and you just taking something that's pretty expected from her with nothing in return is obviously gonna cause friction. At the very least eat her out, finger her, and do whatever else she wants as long as it doesn't involve stimulating you; I always did that with any girl while I was rebooting. Girls get a lot of self worth and fulfillment from seeing their partners in pleasure and making their men cum, so try to find ways to show her your appreciation that involve your semen inside her haha. She may not like it at first, so just assure her that it's only temporary and you still like her a lot. A few girls I've been with have been so conditioned to get so much fulfillment and pleasure from men orgasming that me deciding not to have sex with them feels like rejection and they just cannot process it hahaha. Talk to her about why she wants to keep pleasuring you so bad. Make it clear why you're doing it, and consider yourself if it's worth it for both of you. If it's just for you to challenge yourself, the lack of pleasure can be replaced by the fulfillment and pride you receive, but the lack of pleasure she gets may just be a loss that doesn't bring her anything else. If that's the case, you gotta either convince her to be proud too (might be tricky, pretty unlikely hahaha) or you gotta give her something else in return, such as bringing her to a concert, taking her out to dinner, buying her some new clothes, or doing something else she wants. You gotta make it worth it for her, so understanding her feelings and preferences is important for this. For example, I personally don't like blowjobs that much, and if I'm seeing a girl with whom I have a sexrgasm ration any less than 75:25, I literally will break it off unless I get sex more often haha. If my current girlfriend decided that we just weren't gonna have sex for a month and it was because she was just challenging herself, I would be pretty pissed as well hahaha, and would either ask for something pretty substantial in return or say we should take a small break because it sounds like that's what she wants. If you're doing this to have better sex with your girl and have a better relationship, make that clear to her. That conversation will be much better. Say it's not her fault, but it's just something that needs to be done to make your relationship better.
We discussed similar situation as my boyfriend has started to address his porn and masturbation addiction. To try and help him through the first month we agreed to try and limit his orgasms completely and then see how it goes after with PIV. I think he may get too excited if he gives me any pleasure so for this month I'll take care of myself on my own as needed.
Have you tried karezza with him? He can abstain from orgasm, you get urs if you want. It is difficult to resist urges to cum though, I know from experience with my wife!
Yeah, in a relationship you should first talk to the other person before decisions. But if you are adamant about a decision, then she should respect your wishes. Which also requires a talk.