It’s like i’ve totally lost my feeling for woman.

Why do i say this?

It’s because transwoman porn has fucked me up for the longest time.

It has gotten to the point where i’ve started to question my sexuality and thought, am i just into transwomen?

But i’ve always known since i was young that i was attracted to woman.

I used to be able to get off to pictures of hot models, girls shaking their ass, etc.

But nowadays, all of that seems too “normal” to me and my brain is just wired to want transwoman porn everytime - for the simple fact that it is very taboo and confusingly gives me this insane rush.

And this has been ongoing for probably 7 years, and i am currently 21.

Now i will say, i am a generally confident person who has no real problems with talking to woman or socializing in general.

I workout 5-6x a week, i’m a shredded beast (not boasting, just saying)

I have had numerous experiences with woman like making out, fingering the girl, and what not.

However... i’ve never actually had a girlfriend, nor have i ever had sex.

Yep, still a fucking virgin.

I’d say my entire life i’ve presented this sort of demeanor as if i was always “too good” for certain girls who wanted to fuck around with me.

I mean given i workout and i take my appearance seriously, if a girl wasn’t up to my standards - i’d use my own pride as an excuse.

But at this point, i’ve finally come to realize that’s not why i’ve been turning down all these woman my whole life.

It’s the simple fact that my addiction to porn (transwoman porn) has fucked me up so bad to the point that i don’t have any sort of desire or sex drive for REAL woman.

And i mean, that my brain is literally just not wired to get horny at all when the REAL thing is right there, right in front of my face!

Instead, my brain just craves this weird fantasy of transwomen through pixels from a fucking screen.

Just recently i was touring my friend around my city to hit up some clubs and bars.

2 nights back-to-back we were able to get 2 girls to come hang out with us afterwards (we spit some major game, not gonna lie).

And you know, we were kissing and what not.

But i could NOT for the fucking life of me get a boner.

I knew damn well i wanted to fuck the shit of these girls (from separate nights)

But my dick just said NAH! Both times!!

Do you know how fucking defeated i felt whipping my soft ass penis in front of this girl’s face - where she confusingly tried to stroke it while it remained completely blank?

Let alone, this was FINALLY my chance to lose my virginity.

You don’t understand how much i am constantly being tormented my friends about how many girls they have sex with - and i always just sit their not being able to relate to their conversations.

They look at me as someone who definitely fucks a lot of girls, but sadly that is not my reality.

Now you’re probably reading this like “oh this guy sounds like a fucking douche”.

No, that’s not the point. And it’s not what i am trying to imply here.

I am just really fucking mad at the point that i’ve let all of these opportunities slip through my hands to have experience with a real girl.

It makes me feel like i am not normal.

Like why am i not able to easily have sex with girls like my other friends can?

And that’s probably cause they never gotten theirselves hooked into the fucked up world of transwoman porn.

transwomen are just confusing man.

It’s like i am attracted to the feminity of them, but this slight thought of them secretly being a dude - gives me this insane WOW or this like insane RUSH. Like “how in the fuck is this a man?!”

Then sure enough i’ve ejaculated with complete regret every time.

I know damn well i would never want to fuck a transwoman.

But for some reason, it has also taken away my desire for real woman.

I look at hot girls walking around and i KNOW they are beautiful.

But that part of my brain that tells me to want them sexually, is just non-existent.

I am really just afraid at this point if i’ve totally lost desire for woman.

If anyone can relate to this in any way, please give me some hope and light.

I am currently 8 days in now (my last streak was about 30 days).

But even 30 days in, i felt nothing.

Not even a slight want for woman.

I just craved transwoman porn and that’s exactly how i relapsed...