Struggling today, the loneliness of breaking up with my GF right about the time I started a new streak. She's already dating someone else, and it's crushing my soul right now. I never understood how people can go from one to the next. My addiction ruined my marriage of 20 years, I wanted to end this addiction with the new girl I really liked, even supportive. Unfortunately a rage filled incident ended things, still don't know what came over me that night. I know I suffer from CPTSD and she had a way of triggering me, but it's my fault for giving into the anger, and my responsibility to control my self. Currently on day 17, and it's just brutal, the depression is killing me, no focus at work, no motivation can't stop thinking of my ex and how much I fucked that up. Sleep is off and on, some nights are great and some my brain won't shut off at all. I am hopeful that this will all end soon, and get back to a stable thought, I need to find friends, but I'm just so grumpy, depressed, and out of touch all the dam time. I guess the only good thing is I have no desire to PMO at the moment. I've been working out like a mad man, trying to ignore the thoughts but they come right back, some days I use anger to ignore the pain, then it subsides and I'm back to my self loathing again. Trying to be kind to myself but it's hard with so much guilt and shame. I guess that's it, thanks for reading, guess I'll report back at 30, God speed everyone.
Will it? only PMO won't magically fix OP problems? working on yourself therapy and a relationship very well might tho
Who said it was a magic. "Life will be much better without PMO" no promise of magically fixing life issues. People have to get started on the road to recovery somewhere, and stopping is the first step.
