It's not my mind, it's my body...

Does physical sensation lead you to lapse on your abstinence?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 50.0%

  • No

    Votes: 2 50.0%
  • Total voters
    4
I

India Hotel Sierra

New Fapstronaut
Hi Folks,

I found this community by suggestion of a priest during confession. It's always nice to have a confessor that helps you form an action plan.

I am about to turn 39 years old (maybe I should say 38 and not rush things!) and have hoped to stop masturbating since I was in college. I remember the first time I successfully orgasmed. I was just finishing my eighth grade year. I felt dirty the next day and couldn't look my mother in the eye, but I quickly made routine of it. It wasn't really until I was dumped by my girlfriend in college that I felt I should stop. I'm not sure what came over me, but I felt like God was telling me it would forever hurt my relationships. I was not successful.

I have tried many times to stop, but the last time was over ten years ago when I tried to give it up for a Lenten fast. That didn't work, and I was unable to cope with the guilt, distancing myself from God rather than enlisting His support. I was already married at this point as well, and I still am.

What makes nofap so difficult isn't the mind (for me). I have plenty that I love to do that takes up much more mental real estate than masturbation. The problem is the "tingle" sensation in my genitals that I simply cannot ignore. Right now I am one week without masturbation, but on the third day of the unceasing sensation. In previous attempts at abstinence I was not able to get past the first day. I decided to join nofap dot kom in search of support.

Does anybody else have this sensation as a challenge? It literally feels like somebody is touching me. Is there an end to it?

Porn
I count myself blessed. I watched porn every day for a decade. One day I just became disgusted by it, making it very easy to stop. I know that it is not so easy for others, and I pray for you. Mind you, I had an aggressive porn habit. I had progressed to almost exclusively gay porn (some trans) as I really needed something outside of my own turn-ons. It was an interesting progression that never made sense as I have never been attracted to a man.

Now if only that same aversion would work with masturbation. The aversion is there, but this sensation is, ahem, "driving me nuts."
 
I don't want to speak too soon, but as soon as I submitted this, the sensation subsided. Maybe it will get easier? Until now I have reason to believe that it IS NOT POSSIBLE to stop masturbating, or "relieving the tension." If that sensation stops in my genitals, I can do this without burning up.

I should say that the Covid-19 epidemic and its subsequent lockdown is not the best timing for me to commit to my goal of abstinence form masturbation. But on the other hand, it has me very much spiritually focused. This is time for me to feel intimacy with God.
 
I feel very similiar, but for me it's not Masturbation, I can't stop with porn and the problem is, once I am triggered, my mind instantly forgets all logic and reasons and I am going for it...

I don't think there is a better timing, once you decided to stop and search for help, like you did now, it is the perfect moment. When you are willing to stop you have to try it immediately.

You can find many useful tips in this community, but I think the most useful step is to stay with the community and talk about it. We need external help. Like anyone with psychological issues would need a therapist.

We are in the same fight!
Stay strong!

I am counting on you =)
 
Thanks so much, "HelpMe."

Today it is mostly in my mind, and very difficult to not think about. The sensation returned, but much weaker. I hope that it is like withdrawal symptoms and they will subside over time.

I wish that I could identify a trigger, but it's more like a root virus constantly working in the background. Life itself is a trigger.

Just talking about it is helping me though. I was afraid to make that first post. The internet can be a very judgy place. It's nice to have support.
 
India Hotel Sierra said:
I wish that I could identify a trigger, but it's more like a root virus constantly working in the background. Life itself is a trigger.
Click to expand...

Yes, unfortunately, triggers can be found almost everywhere in our world today. Try to prevent as much as possible and prepare yourself mentally how you will react if you see something wrong or if you get some bad thoughts into your mind. Then you must know immediately what to do. Imagine you would be in war, you need to build a strategy to win this war, but also react tactically to any surprise.

India Hotel Sierra said:
Just talking about it is helping me though. I was afraid to make that first post. The internet can be a very judgy place. It's nice to have support.
Click to expand...

That was the first big step! It takes a lot of courage. I will update from time to time, how it looks on my end! I'd be happy to hear from you too! I think you can do it this time.
 
Hey Guys, I literally just joined the site! You are right, the timing could not have been worse--I have had a relapse. I cannot go away to work. It's really about mastering your willpower because there are times when you can't find somewhere to run. You have to crush those thoughts in your head--drop and do sets of pushups, ice your balls, be mentally engaged in a study. Listen to beautiful music that makes you cry--feel that pain, and you won't want to go back. Yes, I can say the sensation does subside, but it will be on and off to lesser degree. I even had some dribble of fluid, but no wet dreams or morning wood. My streak is three weeks--you have to say to that sensation--"oh really, yup I can hear you, but I pay you no mind" We have to climb this mountain. Don't be too upset if you relapse, pick up your bags and keep climbing!
 
Good tips thank's! Don't make yourself crazy. Learn from the last relapse and get your strength back and focus on the future! You will get back to the three weeks!

QParadigm said:
oh really, yup I can hear you, but I pay you no mind
Click to expand...

That's right, it's like a mosquito bite, you concentrate too much on it, you scratch, but when you know it's there, but don't pay any attention to it, the stimulus fades.
 
Well, I'm doing a little better today. The sensation is constant, but subsided a bit. HelpMe describe it as a mosquito bite is really on point. And just like mosquito bites, ignoring them never made the sensation go away. Nevertheless, I have shown more strength these last few days than I have in my entire life. There were times when I thought about giving in, but this was the first time I felt that I might let others down (you folks) if I do.

QParadigm, if it gets as bad as it was, I'm seriously considering the ice. I'm studying aviation ground school right now and it's not enough of a distraction. Silencing my mind kind of helped though. Maybe I should try meditation.
 
Hi, welcome to the community

I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc.

This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

֍ You got this my friend ֍​
 
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