Hello, I'm Jake. I'm 23 years old, and I've struggled terribly with PMO and the guilt associated with it. I've on average masturbated probably 3 times a day since I was 13 or 14, typically to pornography. I desire to give up PMO completely on both secular and religious reasons. I've actually been a Christian missionary for the last two and a half years, participating and LEADING international mission trips ranging from 3-11 months. The extreme amounts of guilt I've had over PMO coupled with an even far worse feeling of guilt for leading this double life of being a good Christian while consumed by PMO and supposedly being a good example of living a Christian life has lowered my self esteem greatly. I have been able to go 2 weeks - 1 month without masturbating over the past couple years, but that's when I'm places where I can't access Internet and am living in very close Christian community. Even on the trips, when living with up to 20 others, I find a time and place to masturbate away from everyone else. And when I'm at home, I stuggle to go three days without it. I've realized recently that For years, I've had the mentality that PMO is a part of who I am, and that I can't change. That I'll be like this forever, and I'll forever live alone. I want help, I need help. I am willing to pour my heart and soul into this fight. I honestly don't know that I really do believe that I can be different. But I'm going to fight like hell.