Iwannabeme, my story. Would love to hear feed back!

Iwannabeme is my name on here because this is one of my personal goals. To be myself agin, to be that lively, confident, funny, kind, and masculine man i used to be. I was COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED.....also I want to be able to feel my feeling's agin, and not this numb baseless version of myself. From what ive seen on here i know i can make the changes like so many others. I know it wont be easy but this is already so much better than faceing this battle alone. Before i was facing it as a soldier on my own and im now feeling like i surrouded by a army of support. Feeling like there is hope, inspired and uplifted. Canted wait to actually feel the feeling of excitment in my heart agin, because it is so foriegn to me as i am now. Ive numbed myself to absolute zero. I want to be alive...i want to live! And i know i will. Not over night but one day at a time. So amazing to see you all on here, for so long i felt as if i was the only person who wanted to quit, who wanted somthing better for myself deep down inside. How wrong i was, so many of you who's heart is in the same place mine is. So greatful for thia web page! Was sexually abused when i was younger by more than one person, which is one of the reasons i turned to p, drugs,and alc to cover up what was deep down inside. Quit the heavy drinking and recreational drug use but pmo was the hardest(still is) but now i can see the light at the end of the tunnel and cant wait to be that cool, calm, and collected person i use to be. Would love to hear from you all. Tips, pointers, presonal experience. Anything positive much love iwannabeme