First of all, I've been reading through these over the last few days. Sounds like alot of people having trouble kicking this one, so its great that there's somewhere for like-minded people to talk about let's face it- something that would be 10x harder to discuss face to face! I'm honestly not sure how addicted to porn I really am. It's more the content which I've reached to, to actually gain some gratification that has triggered me to do something about it. Watching porn: the feeling of dread I get after, I feel has seriously impacted on the way I socialise with girls and in fact impacted on the way I'm with my friends. I think my real obsession with these types of hardcore/fetish videos grew after a sexual experience when I was 18. She was my mate's maniacal ex who I never wanted to have sex with- I hoped I could just turn up and y'know...do the business. As it so happened I had my first experience of Erectile Dysfunction. I never scoped why it happened. That's as far as I can remember when I started. Looking back, my anxiety wasn't even justified: my friends laughed initially but never said anything horrible and had forgotten about the whole thing before the end of the weekend, I cleared it with the girl and told her I didn't wanna' try again. End of situation- or not! Like a little acorn it grew and grew, to now where things have spiralled out of MY control. I want control over my body again of which I have none, the few sexual encounters I've had since then have been difficult to say the least. I have already started the reboot and hit day twelve today. I've managed to blank the thoughts of porn I'd watched entering my brain but still think about girls (although I don't see that as as harmful). I had a very strange experience this morning, I felt what I can only call a rushing feeling after I went for a wee I tried to tighten my PC muscle but unfortunately a little bit of pre-cum appeared. I've stopped masturbating for longer periods before, so hopefully it won't happen again. (It feels so good to put all of this into words...) "Someday never comes"
Welcome man, good luck with this. Do not get scared if this turns out to be harder to do than you expect, brace yourself for a ride!
