Just Joined NoFAP and relapsed on day 6

I wanted to introduce myself to the group.

I have been struggling with PMO for over 20 years, i have come to realize later in life that this is of no benefit to me, and that through reading through the forums how much of an advantage it would be to try and stop.

So i made a commitment to myself a week ago that i would stop. I released that i could not do this without putting other distractions in place. So i have joined a gym and go running, i have also been going through a spiritual awakening for the last 5 years and feel that this has been hindering my energy, and so i meditate to calm my thoughts. I also try to read books and not watch TV as much.

I have found it very difficult the last few days, to cope with the pressure and continually fighting the negative thoughts away. On day 5 i has a sense of self control which empowered me, but on day 6 i came down really low, with no willpower at all, i just felt out of control, i happened to be online, which lead onto a binge of PMO, and just felt that my efforts had been wasted.

Today i have deleted anything on my computer, and anything in my house which could lead me to reminding me of porn. I have felt a sense of relief in doing this, but i am suffering a great deal of shame inside myself. I feel disappointed that my progress was good in the first week, but am disappointed that my brain can be so controlling, despite doing meditation etc, this is one of the hardest things i have ever tried to overcome.

I live on my own as well and do not have that many friends because i have suffered with social anxiety for such a long time.

Any encouragement or suggestion would be appreciated, as i really want to conquer this.

Thanks for everyone on here, for sharing your experiences, on what could be a long journey to success.