Lets do this.

Computernerd2365 · Feb 24, 2018

Hello to everyone!

First, I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who is involved in the NoFap community. You are changing lives that you will never know and making a difference in people who struggle with this addiction.

My name is Joe, a 22 year old male living in small town USA. I have been looking at porn and masturbating for as long as I can remember. Growing up in a religious family, the topics of PMO were never discussed and sex was looked at as a taboo subject. As a result, what I know about sex was shaped by what I discovered online. From an early age, probably somewhere around puberty or a little before, I’ve been addicted to PMO. What didn’t help is my natural computer abilities. Regardless of what internet filters or blocks my parents put up, I was able to look at porn with ease. At one point I would even sneak out of the house almost every night to go down to our church about a mile from our house to look at porn. I used my parents keys to get in.

The shame of my addiction to pornography has weighed on me for so many years. It has shaped how I view myself and how I view those around me. Mainly women. Because of this addiction I see myself as having very little self worth. In whatever new relationships I develop with those around me, male or female, I have this feeling of guilt that won’t go away. I think “if only they knew what I have done they wound never want to be with me.” This thought process has spread to every area of my life. I view women as sex objects, simply there to bring me pleasure. As a women walks by I size her up like a piece of meat instead of seeing her as a beautiful and respectable human being.

My addiction has shattered my self confidence, giving me low self-esteem, anxiety, and an inability to communicate in conversation. I have tried to get help before. Whether self-help, brothers, friends, or pastors, I have talked to several people about it. At first their desire to help carries me through a couple weeks of no PMO, but without fail they stop checking in or seem to forget about my struggle all together. I have tried to stress how big of an issue this is but it never results in a persistent and faithful accountability partner.

About a year and a half ago I started dating a young woman I met at school and our relationship has been developing and strengthening ever since. Because of my confidence issues I have never really had a girlfriend prior to this relationship so to have her is an incredible blessing in my life. Early on in our relationship both of us were very open and up front about our issue from the past. My main issue being PMO. We are both very forgiving and understanding about our histories, and it was an amazing feeling finding someone who would accept me how I am. Understandably, she wants me to work through these issues and expects me to take the necessary steps to make that happen. It hurts both her and myself when I slip up, and I always feel so ashamed and undeserving of her whenever that happens. Despite the love and support she shows me I am still doing PMO without her knowing. When she checks in on me to see how I am doing with PMO I have lied to her because of my shame.

I have tried to stop several times, usually only making it a couple weeks at best before relapsing. When going a couple weeks without PMO I have definitely noticed a difference in how I feel. I have greater self confidence and communication comes easier. Knowing this, I still don’t understand why I continually relapse.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings. I will try again and again until I do this. My goal is 90 days hard core mode. As I write this I am two days clean. Only eighty-eight to go. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get to this point. Lets do this together.

Joe.

Drifter Theory · Feb 24, 2018

Good luck on your journey, mate.
Obviously I am just starting out too, so I'm in no position to give advice.
But best wishes!

:::

Deleted Account · Feb 25, 2018

Computernerd2365 said: ↑

Thanks to everyone who has helped me get to this point. Lets do this together.
Click to expand...

Hey @Computernerd2365 ,

I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

Learn the NoFap Program
The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

They are:

Download the free Getting Started guide.

Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here!

Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction!

Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one.

About NoFap.

Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works.

This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction.

Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off.

If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms.

GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options.

You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

Get Involved with the Community
The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH

Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles

Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.

Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.

Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

--> L

PS – I Think of pmo like a wolf. If I Stay near the center of the group with the winners the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, stray near the edges of the community by not working my program and the wolf can pick me off.

Deleted Account · Feb 25, 2018

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@SaapKaBaap - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139761/
---
@Lazarus Shuttlesworth - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/53299/
---
@db001 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/130513/
--
@LilD - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147764/
---
@julianstone - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146584/
---
@Hercules Stop - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/140098/
---
@zakes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/149243/
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@DavidGibson - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/
---
@Euklid - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146663/
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@BreatheDeeply - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/
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@LiquidShoes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/
---

There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

--> L

---

PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page. Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.

-

Deleted Account · Feb 25, 2018

For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

@JakeO5
@Arohamystic
@MLMVSS
@Rising Sun !!
@Ready to be healthy
@Brahmacharin
@Struggle Bug
@tet2vd
@Satchi
@BigDawg913
@zakes
@C. J.
@LilD
@kropo82

Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

--> L

planters1987 · Feb 25, 2018

hey man,
I'm here to talk if you need it.
best,

Log in

Lets do this.

Computernerd2365 New Fapstronaut

Drifter Theory Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

Deleted Account Guest

Deleted Account Guest

planters1987 Fapstronaut

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