Loneliness, authenticity and integrity

Loneliness is a funny thing.. It's one thing if we're talking about sexual attraction, but this forum includes general loneliness - doesn't that involve having specific qualities in people instead of just anyone? (it actually would probably ideally apply to a romantic partner too, instead of just "hot"?)

I don't see people posting "I have people around me, but they don't get me" - which I suppose is a KIND of loneliness.

I don't know, I mean I accept that people have different interests and focus in life, and with some peoples life direction that will automatically limit the number of people they tend to have things in common with.

This isn't related to loneliness directly but I don't know it seems like it makes sense to mention.. There's been two occasions where I could have "gotten lucky" but didn't go for it. Once was graduating from massage school, we had a party. This girl obviously wanted it, but I kind of got that it almost didn't matter that much who with and once I didn't respond this other dude came over. I didn't feel like I missed anything if it was easily replaced with. It's also a little lame in that context since we're supposed to do professional, therapeutic work and not happy endings, but obviously when you've been in that situation with the physical closeness there can be a bit blurring of the boundaries and intention. The other time I was fairly new at this job and I don't even know why she mentioned it, but this chick was married and mentioned he cheated on her, so she cheated with some other chick. And she made a pass at me. Umm.. Yeah I guess being used for revenge isn't really doing wonder for me being turned on? Sounds like there's some other issue there.

I guess there's just something in me that doesn't want to sell out, and if on some level, sexual or otherwise not being lonely or alone means selling out - then well fuck that. I guess people can be like Quagmire and be opportunistic about it but I couldn't go there.

But yep, sometimes we do it with PMO. I guess with actual sex when push comes to shove though I can't ignore that as easily.