Lonely and empty, how to find love?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by NeedingHelp, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. NeedingHelp

    NeedingHelp Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, so I'm a 14 year-old male. I have already "dated" (never seriously, unfortunately) two girls, but since September, I'm lonely.

    That's making me feel empty and sad, and despite I got really hurt by loving a certain girl, I really want to fall in love again, but I'm not sure how.

    I'm starting to get a little bit desperate and trying to force feelings, but, as expected, it never works. What can I do to feel less desperate?

    Also, do you guys have some tips about where and how to find love?
     
  2. johnmicormick

    johnmicormick Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean, falling in love is great until you hit the floor. But don’t force it, build up some friendships with girls so you get comfortable, then try to “talk” with them if you feel a vibe, start flirting and all that stuff
     
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  3. NeedingHelp

    NeedingHelp Fapstronaut

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    That's what happened with the two involvements. But unfortunately I'll just be able to meet new girls next year, when I'm going to high school (here high school begins when we're 15). That's kinda making me anxious and I'm pretty tired of waiting. Any tips on how to deal with this "anxiety"?
     
  4. johnmicormick

    johnmicormick Fapstronaut

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    When you’re feeling it, I do in my stomach, heart rate goes up, sweat sometimes etc. just take a couple deep breaths, and focus on your stomach turning. I find that ignoring it doesn’t really help, but focusing on it can help with your heart rate. Don’t let it show on your face, and don’t really go in with a full fledged plan, listen to what she’s says etc. but just find a friend group, make some female friends to get comfortable. I’d also try not to piss anyone off, but don’t take shit from anyone either. If you have friends entering with you, eat lunch with them but still try to make friends with other people. At class you’ll do projects and shit, try to ask that kid next to you that doesn’t have 1000 people lining up to be with him. Just make friends and you’ll be straight
     
  5. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    you are only 14 so I don't think there is a high chance to find any "love" out there since most of what you may perceive as love is usually lust. However, I did have a gf at your age so I really understand the curiosity of liking someone and the desire to get close to them. Instead of focusing on finding love, you need to learn to love yourself, be okay with you being alone. Only then can you get strong enough to enter any kind of intimate relationship with a girl. Until then, you will mostly get hurt due to the lack of information as well as knowledge to deal with problems in relationships. Improve yourself first, love yourself first and someone will start getting interested in you. You can't rush love.
     
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