Hello all, I'm 37 years old, a father, a husband, and a believer in Christ. This horrible, disgusting addiction has been with me for over 20 years. I've tried everything I can think of through my own "will power" to stop this. My wife has no idea I'm addicted. I have a few friends that I've talked too, but they are also addicted. I won't pretend to be depressed or suicidal because I'm not. I'm honestly just tired. Tired of being in bondage to something so stupid and pointless. Knowing everyday it's going to be a struggle and I'll probably lose. I would truly love to be free of this. I've prayed and prayed about this. It just won't go away. I don't know why. I've even questioned my salvation many times because of this one sin. The guilt and shame are always at a high level. The fear of hurting everyone I love, knowing it hurts the Lord. Knowing it hurts my faith. I admit I have a problem. What's next? I'm really willing to listen.
Acknowledging the problem is a big step, and I hope it motivates change in you. What makes you think you can will-power your way through this? You are not saved by the works of your hands! When are you going to give up judging yourself and give that authority to the one to whom it belongs?
