Lots of males here who are directly and indirectly sexist/misogynist.

Every time I see someone spout ridiculous, sexist junk, I have to remind myself that a lot of men AND women have truly broken attitudes about sex and gender relations due to porn addiction. It's easy to get mad, but I have to keep reminding myself that (I hope) someday they'll open their eyes, find healing and realize how twisted their beliefs are.

 

Anger is always the second emotion.
If you are angry, you should ask yourself what emotion actually made you angry?
Because That's the emotion that gave you the passion, it's the reason you care enough about whatever is at hand... To get angry anyways.
Then deal with that and let the anger go.

 

I struggle with sexism a lot. I honestly thought that my sexist thoughts would go away after rebooting but I think some very sexist, mysogynistic thoughts even though I don't believe them. I guess PMO was suppressing my underlying sexism. I do think that it's unfortunate that women who come here looking for help encounter sexism and it's also unfortunate how some men and women live in their own little bubbles of what they believe opposite gender is like with stereotypes and preconceived notions. I believe that we should as men and boys should make every effort to welcome women and support them.

 

What's that saying @Star Lord?
About the loudest one in the room?
Yes.... I think it applies nicely here.

 

And @aarondf that's a couragous thing to admit.
It's good to recognize how you are and where you want to be, because that's going to continue to change all the time.
I think it's great that you try to be so respectful as you have internal struggles.
All of us have demons.
Projection of that, is something else entirely.
It's sad that we can't all be "people" together. However, this isn't IG or FB... The women who come here know the men are already, well, not underpretenses... For the most part.
The mask is down.
However, not being nice, just in general, is a whole other thing.

Just my opinion.

 

@Star Lord I understand there's a decent amount of uninformed opinions about females on this porn-addiction-recovery website, and I'm not arguing that. But just this morning at 8:30am you made a comment on a female fapstronaut's profile that her avatar was "gathering dust". Hard to interpret that any other way than to think that you're trolling her for a new photo. You can call it being playful or friendly, and maybe it is. But then again maybe all this anger bubbling up from you directed at "sexists who can't control their behavior around female users and their avatars" has some origins from within? Your anger is so specific concerning the avatars I can't help but think there's some truth that you're struggling in this area.

I KNOW ENOUGH OF YOUR INTERACTIONS ON THE SITE TO KNOW WHOLEHEARTEDLY YOU AREN'T A SEXIST. I'm not accusing you of anything even close to that. What I'm suggesting is that if you are having any struggle, if even subconsciously, with the female users or their avatars, it may be manifesting itself as outward anger. We often see people lash out at the government or politicians for "taking away all the jobs" when they are struggling to find employment. We see athletes blame their shoes for a poor performance. A few months ago I started building up a distain and started typing up a very long journal entry where I was essentially bitching about all the NoFap posts that blab on and on with very cerebral discussions of addiction and addiction strategies, and they conveniently avoid ever talking about their real feelings and problems with reboot. It's like they scratch around intellectually at the surface of addiction recovery because they are afraid to face their own emotions or struggles. As I typed on and on trying to relieve this distain, it began to occur to me that the distain was actually building because it was ME who had been afraid to journal about some things that were really bugging me at the time - things I had been feeling afraid to talk about. I ended up deleting the bitchy post and instead journaling about what had really been bothering me - my lack of control over some Psubs at the time.

What I'm trying to say is that when you feel a swell of anger or distain about something, it's worth investigating on a deeper level. It's nearly always connected in some way to yourself. We get angry at undesirable reflections of ourselves that we see in others.

I hope I haven't stepped out too far in trying to illustrate my perspective. You are a good person and a worthy contributor to this community. We fight this fight together!

 

If they are still in your heart after rebooting, then you are sexist at heart. When you say you don't believe them, you mean that you know you shouldn't discriminate like that, but you do. You need to pray about it and get yourself straightened out!

 

I have intrusive thoughts also.

 

Can you describe how it feels, like, the difference between a thought from inside you compared with an intrusive thought?

 

Did I say something wrong? I have OCD intrusive thoughts along with the sexist thoughts. I don't like or support misogyny or sexism, I am working on myself.

 

This is off topic. I'm not dodging the question but this is off topic.

 

OK

 

"Yall weak as shit'
Nobody can combat this

 

Its Not good thing to deny help and shame someone just because they are the opposite sex and may trigger you.
Cmon triggers are gonna be everywhere .
Its our duty to keep them from affecting our will and determination.

yes i too had this belief that my life would been better if i was born a woman,No fuss about this Porn Addiction and fapping .i used to believe so because i had this notion that females dont mastrubate .they only enjoy themselves during sex.But since i have realised that women can be addicted to porn ,My outlook has changed .I find them as compatriots towards Addiction free life.

It might be even worse for a woman to deal with this issue maybe because of monthly periods issue and Too much of daily stress .And emotions rule a woman's mind. So to get the good feeling brain may automatically direct them to porn as people around them Just couldnt understand them or Make fun/Insult them.

I apologise to you all femstronauts here for those few compatriots here who may behave in sexist way.Its Mainly because wr are dealing with The ill effects of porn addiction too and some of them just had their mind conditioned towards women in a way which is totally not appreciable

 

I hesitate to get involved in this thread... but I can't control my tongue, or fingers in this case.

I think it's natural to question the motives of the opposite sex, particularly for many women since they face such strong sexual pressure/ action from boys/ men from a young age, often long before they have the mental tools/ life experience to deal with it. I don't personally know any men (though I know they exist) with the same kind of lingering sexual scars that most of the women I know have. I guess with men we've learned to compensate and scar ourselves behind our screens.

I don't know what the average number of failed relationships the people on this forum/thread have experienced, but I imagine its quite high. These relationships linger in our minds and it's always easier to put the blame on the other person. Wickedness/ selfishness/ materialism/ power struggles are human issues, not gender issues. Whenever you find yourself always putting the blame on others or bad luck for your problems, you're wasting effort that should be used otherwise.

Nothing cures sexism like healthy relationships with the opposite sex, so its unfortunate our society has such unhealthy views/ norms when it comes to sex and marriage.

 

I wouldn't say I was sexist but I do believe porn has a part to play in my sexual feelings. It has messed up my thinking. I don't know what to write I just felt the need to reply to you as there is truth in what you are saying.