Made it a full week, then a deception and a fall

I made it a week and then I successfully told myself a lie that I needed a night off from the effort. In other words I took my eye off the goal and embraced apathy. Very sad but I'm not going to go full tilt into a back slide . . . today I make a new choice. To oppose apathy as fearlessly as I would a thief coming in a window to rape one of my daughters. No way ever would I just kick back and watch it happen under my nose because I'm tired of protecting them. That's inconceivable.

So today my little prayer is "Lord, make me as fierce and dedicated to opposing apathy, which leads to behavior that feeds my sickness, as I would be protecting those I love the most". Because part of recovery is appropriate self-love and saying good bye to self-indulgence. Let's make 2016 the healthiest year of our lives.

 

I know. . . . when I read it myself I think "wow, I can't possibly be that serious can I"? And of course, I have no way of knowing unless I'm applying it. But I do think it's good to be challenged with the seriousness of the tasks from time to time. Now go put something on that ear for God's sake.

 

You're always worthy. To me, the fact that you're here shows your intent to quit, even if your struggling to change your behavior. Be careful of the trap that when you do poorly, it becomes an excuse to drop off all the balancing positive behavior because you're a hypocrite or some other such shit. i.e. Jesus came for sinners, not the righteous (worthy), hey Jesus, you like sinners? Here I am dude, you're gonna love me.