Marriage Sex Problem

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by bexx, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys

    I have a problem with my wife.

    I'm now on no P for about 3 month. Fapped like 3-6 times with fantasybin this time. Don't know exactly. But it doesn't feel much.
    Problem is that I don't get horny with my wife.I don't get an orgasmn. In2 years relationship i came about 3 times inside. It's really sad.

    I blame mostly my strong p induced femdom fetish.

    However now as I don't live this fantasy in p masturbation I feel relative unhappy in the relationship.

    Next thing is. I see hot bitches everywhere but my wife hardly sexually attracts me

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave her. But I need a release.

    I also hold the theory that I can't fuck her like a bitch. But want to make love to her. These 2 things are separate for me but the fucker wants out
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2019
  2. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    I think by the sounds of it. You would have no problem getting horny , and finishing with any of these " hot bitches" that you see eberwhere.

    Even though you've stopped with the porn , do you think that maybe you still fantasize alot about past porn videos , or past sex experience , or find yourself fantasizing or ogling these woman that you see all around ?
     
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  3. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Tell me: what is the point of no porn if you keep masturbating and fantasizing images or scenes in your head? There is no point.

    STOP watching porn, masturbating and fantasizing. Do not touch your dick. Give your sexual impulses a rest and realize that you should rewire your brain to your wife.

    Start slow with kissing, hugging, holding hands. Have fun! After this start escalating step by step. Before you know it you are having good sex with orgasms with your wife.

    Remember: after this you still should not go back to masturbation with fantasizing or masturbation at all....use your dick only in presence of your wife! That's it
     
  4. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    Ok it's true that all the time I see hot bitches everywhere I dream of getting dominated and used.

    I try to stop this.

    Another thing is the anger mangement.
    Since I stopped p I'm more angry and my negative emotions focused on my wife are not in control anymore.

    It's like the violence I'm received in femdom p now wants to come out in real life or try to find another way my life
     
  5. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    One things for sure. More porn won't help.

    Why don't you try some femdom with your wife?
     
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  6. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    As someone who has unfortunately been involved in femdom (real life and porn) I completely understand. In fact since I was young I would always have to think about a femdom scenario to orgasm with a girl during sex. I have never had an orgasm that wasn't linked to femdom or femdom thoughts. It's sad.
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    What's the longest you've gone without pmo or femdom?
     
  8. If she knows anything about this, I imagine it would be an outlet for her to release some of the anger she probably has towards you.
     
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  9. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    It's a win-win on both sides :p:D
     
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  10. I swear I read some of these posts and I am like, "why did you men get married?" Sadly, I am pretty sure I know.
     
  11. Bexx, I think you should talk to her about what you like. Do you have open communication?

    Especially you should talk to her if you are planning to stay with her. If not, just get a divorce and let her find someone who enjoys being with her.
     
  12. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    I went two years without going to a dominatrix. I have never gone without femdom porn till now. I started with VHS tapes/magazines in 1988. Trying to change my life,going to tell the Dominatrix I'm done again. Not going to be easy.
     
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  13. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    I personally got married and thought somehow I would stop the femdom stuff because I was in love with my wife. That didn't happen of course. I also disclosed all to my wife in hope's she would understand ,but that hasn't worked out as I hoped.
     
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  14. All least you were honest about it.
     
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  15. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    I kept it to myself for many years and then one day I thought why not put my cards on the table so to speak. I told her everything. I told her how I was beat growing up by my mom and by a nun in catholic school,how I had a girlfriend in college who was a Dominatrix prior to me meeting my wife,how I went to other Dominatrix's over the years while married. She already knew about the femdom porn,found tapes,saw internet search. It all made sense to her when I disclosed. Explained I don't like reg. sex. She told me she couldn't beat me like a Dominatrix does and she worried about me going to one because of our child and my job. (I work in LE).
     
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  16. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I think this is the right way.
    First of all, when you stop masturbating, your testosteron level rises and that is making men more assertive and competitive and aggressive. So it is quite normal that you get angry.
    It is really the right thing to talk. You started talking, it did not work out, but it is necessary. Your relationship is a negotiation, so negotiate! Also it is OK, that you did not achieve what you wanted as this was the first discussion you had with your wife about that stuff. I think you should put that back on the table. Listen to what she says first. Repeat what she said like "So, I understand that you ......, and I want you to ...."
     
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  17. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, I figured we have been married 25 years,maybe she would just let me go to the Dom once a month. Our sex life was never great,but we have always been decent to one another.
     
  18. Honesty is preferable to dishonesty. I would also be curious as to what she wants that she isn't getting from you also.
     
  19. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Be proud of those 2 years. I'm sure it wasn't easy. It's good that you've been trying to give up femdom porn. I am as well. Not as long as you though haha. I wasn't even alive in 1988.
     
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  20. General Urko

    General Urko Fapstronaut

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    2150952, member: 137083"]Be proud of those 2 years. I'm sure it wasn't easy. It's good that you've been trying to give up femdom porn. I am as well. Not as long as you though haha. I wasn't even alive in 1988.[/QUOTE]
    I didn't even know it existed prior to entering an adult book store with a buddy from high school in 1988. A few months later I met a girl there who was a Dominatrix same age as me just about. We went out for over three years. The struggle has continued since then.
     
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