Masturbation and sex drive

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by OldGrip, Jun 27, 2018.

  1. OldGrip

    OldGrip New Fapstronaut

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    Hi Guys, I've been lurking the forum for over week trying to get some understanding of what has been happening with my sexual life in the last month, I think this is a great and knowledgeable community and have decided to join you to get some support as well as provide the same to others. Also I didn't know where to post this so decided to put it in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior'.

    Here's my situation, but first of all English is not my first language so please excuse any errors. I'm 42 years old, married with two kids. I started masturbating before I reached puberty, I think that was when I was around 12, since then masturbation has been part of my life, I'm not sure if I was addicted to it, I never became obsessive about it and just saw it as natural mechanism to experience pleasure, I masturbated almost daily until I was 30 years old, and later after I got married I did it less frequently but still multiple times a week, depending on my daily activities, and on occasions even twice a day. Porn was not available during the early years but, as we know, masturbation is usually accompanied by porn.

    Some time ago my wife found out about my flapping situation and demanded that I put an end to it, initially I didn’t pay attention and just explained her that it was normal and that all men did it. Around a month ago I decided to stop it due I had read in an article that it could affect the sexual performance and even cause ED. I started avoiding masturbating by ignoring erections and suppressing thoughts, I didn’t immediately see any change but slowly I noticed I was less interested in sex and that I had lost my libido, my erections were less frequent and I would lose it during intercourse, things got to a point where I only had erections in the morning (morning wood). Two weeks later I decided to do something about it and visited a sexologist, before anything he indicated some lab exams and results were normal (Hemoglobin A1c: 5.6, Testosterone: 412, Prolactin: 8.6, Prostate PSA: 0.4). He thinks it is psychological.

    Obviously when I stopped flapping I didn’t know anything about rebooting, NoFlap, etc. I seem to have unconsciously blocked my mind and changed what my brain was used to: masturbation and sex with my wife. So, my questions are:
    Do you think I’m going through some unintentional flatline which is impacting my sex drive?

    How do you think I should handle it? Should I start masturbating again so that my brain can get its balance again or should I treat it as a reboot? I have a wife and I would like to affect her the less possible.

    Your inputs will be highly appreciated.

     
    STAR DUST likes this.
  2. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    You already seriously affected your wife, so it is nothing if she suffer from your flatline during your reboot. If you do nothing, then you will being affecting her seriously to the end of your life, so don't seek for excuses and make really good reboot.

    I know nothing about your performance in that field and I am not doctor. However, I think you don't need to panic. But if you had no sexual drive after full reboot then you need to consider other psychological factors. Usually porn addiction is caused by some psychological problems, which are increased by PMO. You need to be aware, that reboot and stop PMOing will improve your life, but it cannot solve all your problems. Maybe it will be enough to solve problem with sexual drive, but maybe it will be only the first (but neccessary) step in your journey.

    Good luck, friend!
     
  3. OldGrip

    OldGrip New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much GaryMayor for your comments!!

    I stopped masturbating about a month ago, how long does the reboot process usually last and should I continue to have sex with my wife during this time? at the moment it's a little bit difficult due to the anxiety the situation has caused, this is another thing I need to resolve.
     
  4. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    I think you should have sex if only you want and it is no reason to be afraid. You don't need to ejaculate every time, but you can spend time together and enjoy it. Additionally the situation can be a good opportunity to focus more on her needs, not your own selfish satisfaction (as usually PMOers do).
     
  5. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    All ways make love to your wife
     
  6. Thanks for your introduction. It sounds like masturbation is the main thing you have trouble with. :oops: You mention porn in passing. But just how much porn were you watching while masturbating? Every time in recent years/months? Please clarify.
     

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