My "Emergency Toolbox": readings that help me to get out of the autopilot when I get urges

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. Hi Guys:
    I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these almost five years of reboot.
    I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
    They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse. But they are still helpful when I feel weak, the urges too strong and I think that “there is no other choice but relapsing”.
    Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
    I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.




    1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)


    Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.


    I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.


    Just the thoughts of:


    • Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.


    • The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

    • The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

    • The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

    • Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

    • And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

    • Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

    • You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

    • Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

    • And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.


    NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.


    And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.


    It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.


    I wish you all the best,



    2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

    "To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"


    "For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."


    3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
    From a TED Talk inspirational video


    4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:


    Why he has the right to use these lines?

    …because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
    Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"


    5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


    6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
    A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD


    7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "


    8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”


    9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
    You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
    If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
    The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
    How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
    The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
    You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
    I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”


    From "Mindshift", a motivational video.


    10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.

    I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
    I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
    Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
    I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
    I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
    I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”


    11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

    From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”


    12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.


    Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

    If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.


    Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

    An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

    Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy




    13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

    Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:


    “What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

    So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort


    Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy


    14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...


    15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":

    If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
    A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

    16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

    @cpf from NoFap



    17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

    Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

    The Wasp story


    18. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
    If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
    A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery."



    19. This is my all time number 1 destroyer. Almost 90% of time when I end up with a full fledged relapse starts with a small slip as simple as going for grocery and having my eyes falling in to a woman/girl with revealing cloths. I would straight away loose my mind and that is the time when my inner addict will kick in and will tell me that I have already broken the jar, it is not acceptable, I should continue and take the full doze of dopamine. That is when I aimlessly start voyeurism by finding more and more revealing people and then when I wont find I will open my phone and start looking at nasty and triggering video clips online until I end up masturbating to attain orgasm. If I can only pull myself back from that initial slip and shut the inner addict up by telling him that "it is okay, I slipped that doesn't mean I should throw myself off the cliff " if I can train myself to do that I will attain greater success in my recovery by the will of god.


    Right now, while you are reading this:

    There are many guys beating their meats in front of a monitor.

    Do you think that all of them know what is happening right now to their brains?
    Do you think that they know everything that you know about PMO and about what that causes?
    Do you prefer to use your sexual energy during workouts, with a REAL girl or do you prefer to shoot it out while looking at things that are not even in front of you?
    You know what, all those guys right now, are making themselves miserable, not because of M, I am not agaist that after a good reboot. They are making themselves miserables because they live in a fake world, their brains did a good job on them, and they think that real sex is what they are looking at. I bet you are laughing, but that is the truth, they are fapping away all their energy and sexual desire to a monitor, and they do not even understand what they are doing.

    But you are not one of those guys, are you?
    Nope, you've come to NoFap, you found YBOP, you watched TEDx talks, you understood what is happening to yourself.
    So the last question is, are you THAT STUPID and THAT WEAK to hurt yourself?
    Are you really worse than all of those countless people that are fapping away their lives?

    Answer only to yourself, because what you do today, and in the next days, will be the proof of who you really are. A man in control of himself, or a monkey that understands things, but is too stupid and weak to stop feeding his brain with P.

    Right now, while you are reading this, you are being one of the few lucky people who knows what to do in order to change his life, what are you waiting?

    The @AV Experiment


    20. You are in your room, the windows are closed tight.
    The door is locked, you do not want anyone to look at you in that state.
    Is is dark all around you, dark as you feel inside of yourself.
    You know that what you will watch is WRONG,
    It is not natural, it is not true, it is not what you are.
    You have planned everything, it is a routine, you are there and ready,
    The images start to flow on your screen, you are not yourself anymore,
    You are the primitive monkey that cannot take control over himself,
    You just want to feel that pleasure, you feel weak and worthless.
    Better to pleasure myself in the easy way rather than solve my problems.
    I have a stressful life, I have a dark past behind me, I want to live inside that screen.
    Yes it is the main reason, I do not want to accept the reality, I prefer the fake world.

    Today my windows is open.
    The Sun shines inside of my room.
    The door is never locked, I am open to myself and to the others.
    I am not sitting in the dark feeding my dark side,
    I am dressing up for a running session,
    The music that pumps my adrenaline is flowing into my ears,
    I will run, I will fight my darkest side, I will approach the Sun rather than the darkness of my room.
    I am ready for another day of fight,
    I have new goals, I have new hopes and I am the true me now.

    Be here with me, do not isolate yourself, live your life around other people.

    Is this not the perfect picture of how low we get during the PMO "sessions"?

    @The AV Experiment


    21. " I'm on the right path. I'm experiencing almost all the things you wrote. Being able to put a break to "zombie mode" and redirect the course. Having problems, but facing them in a more adult way. Understanding that PMO doesn't solve them, despite feeling sad. And especially, "I prefer to go over a bit of displeasure now, knowing that the life is better without this". I personally think that without this realization, one just cannot succeed. My daily mantra for this is "Life is uncomfortable. Progress & growth is uncomfortable. I accept it. I feel comfortable in the uncomfortable." -this has helped me a lot."

    @Flowing


    22. " The mind exists in a state of "not enough" and so is always greedy for more. When you are identified with mind, you get bored and restless very easily. Boredom means the mind is hungry for stimulus, more food for thought, and its hunger is not being satisfied. When you feel bored, you can satisfy the mind's hunger by picking up a magazine, making a phone call, switching on the TV, surfing the web or satisfying your body with food.

    Or you can stay bored and restless and observe what it feels like to be bored and restless. As you bring awareness to the feeling, there is suddenly some space and stillness around it, as it where. A little at first, but as the sense of inner space grows, the feeling of boredom will begin to diminish in intensity and significance. So even boredom can teach you who you are and who you are not " –

    Stillness Speaks, by Eckhart Tolle

    23. And I can truly feel that has been the truth for the last 6 days of me just sitting in boredom, and observe the mind as if I am watching a movie. Little by little, the thought of boredom faded away on its own, and I started to think of things I can do. That's precisely another reason why I just stopped gaming, it took me a long while to actually understand the words written in Tolle's book, but now that I made a commitment towards reconnecting with myself, I am noticing that pattern.

    I think this also has a core relation to forming new habits, because our mind was been fed during those time that we were bored, with something that stimulates it. And now that thing is no longer there, the mind keep asking for it or for something else to stimulate it.

    Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle


    24. So nice to see this furnace burning with the heat of life. I can catch up every now and then and I really enjoy your words, keep up the good work.

    I frequent the chats since it seems easier, and I'd much rather talk about push ups then PMO. I was talking with a senior Heir the other day and we both agreed: that life of pmo is gone. I'm almost at 300 days and couldn't care less about a computer screen full of sex. Hell, I can't even think how to help anyone anymore.

    Someone in the chat, two people actually, mentioned something about urges, fapping, porn, flashbacks. Honestly it took me a minute to realize they were serious. Going backwards? Again? How much time do you think we have? Snap out of it man. It's like a daydream to think about relapsing. Laughable. Really? You crave it? Sorry, I'll come back later when the man I knew returns.

    You can't fap anymore. You can't go backwards. We must think like adults now, we must think like men. Honor, courage, honesty, love, we must start acting like we mean what we say. Another challenge? Good.

    Yesterday was too easy. No challenges came. What is the point of a challenge free life? Give me a chance to prove myself, to myself. Can I be any more clear to my mind? I'm in charge, plain and simple.

    Today, tomorrow, next week, next year - I will remain the same man. What does that mean? My core values of manliness, of spirit, of strength, they remain the same. Different challenges come - god willing - and I will face them with glee. Tough people? Tough moment? Stress at work? Gimmie, it's mine.

    Robert Speer says no strong man was ever made without resistance. No strength ever made without some force pushing on you. Demanding your reaction. Give it all you've got and you will find a bottomless pit of energy. You don't "run out." You don't end.

    Work hard. Get tired from service and love the ones who curse you. Why not? What are the other options? Revenge? Ha! Only for cowards.

    I must find a challenge if no challenge finds me. Easy days are for the dead. If I am not pushed then I am not trying hard enough. We are unbreakable.

    Specifics? Details? Fill in the blanks with any word. Cut out pmo and put diet. Remove lust and fill it with greed. The work here pertains to all things under the sun. Take your pick. Dishonesty? Chapter 4. Thievery? Chapter 8. Doesn't matter what your issue is, all things lead back to one truth, one teaching, one good Man.

    I am afraid I succeeded. I got in. I got better. And I'm getting on with life. I can only hope to see you right alongside me. But, I can no longer look back. My only desire is others success, but it remains unfulfilled. I suppose the one thing in life that you can depend on is yourself.

    @SolidSoldier


    25. I lay on my bed in a pretty decent suite room in one of the best universities in the world. I'd made some great connections and my career was looking up. But something was wrong. It was 2:20 am on December 15th, 2016, and i'd just come off another week long pornography and masturbation bender. I read Robert Downey Jr's quote, that quitting is not that hard, but it's the decision to quit, that is very difficult. I thought about that. I'm not sure I've ever actually made a declaration of quitting porn and masturbation, of transmuting my sex energy and trying to become my best self. I'm usually wary of those things because of the tendency to disappoint myself. But there is a NO inside of me that must be fed. I said then: "I have a choice. I'm 34 years old now. I'm not old, but I'm not young any more, and the next few years could be crucial as far as my life is concerned. I can change, I can transform the pain and the challenges and use them as fertilizer, or I can keep getting knocked over and wallowing in shit forever, only getting to see half of what my potential was. I don't want to waste anymore time. I don't want to reset my counter. I want to be the best me. I want to contribute my best work to the world. I need help. Today I make the decision to quit pornography and masturbation forever. Today I decide to be in control of my sex drive and my releases. Today I choose NO for the next few years to sex." And with that statement, I got off my bed, opened up my computer, and changed my signature. It seemed like a simple thing back then, but, looking back, that was the beginning of the biggest change my life had ever experienced. Everything I am, and everything you see before you today, was based on that simple decision that fateful night."

    @thewizard


    26. Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy told me today in the video call in reference to a big urge of having sex with a guy at the gym which I could stop last week: " The newcomers ask how long the reboot will take and when the PMO addiction will be part of the past. This example shows how is life after reboot. We will keep having urges some times, we will have fantasies and temptations because we are human beings. What we learn during reboot is to say no to practices that are not in agreement with which type of person we want to be. We may be tempted, but we learn how to say no. We learn that it is not worth it, and that we may face some discomfort now, in order to keep having a great life in the future".
    This is my new reality, I am learning to say no to things that I know will hurt me.

    Fercho


    27. Mark Queppet said today at the NoFap Academy video call:
    "There is a much better life on the other side of porn".

    Very powerful sentence, it reminds me the end song of Les Miserables:
    "Will you join in our crusade?
    Who will be strong and stand with me?
    Somewhere beyond the barricade
    Is there a world you long to see!!!

    Fercho
     
  2. Here are a few more which exceeded the maximum 30,000 words in the original post:


    28. There is a TED Talks Cincinnati video where a guy called Jason Mahr talks about Porn addiction. He was a priest, preaching to his church members not to PMO while he was doing it secretely. He had this double life for many years after he spoke out about his addiction.
    These are the sentences that resonated with me the most:

    "I could not handle rejection, when we get rejected we feel depressed and we look to something to pick us up and helps us feel better and that is when we open the door to the addiction"
    "This is dangerous addiction because it gives us an escape from reality but also a false sense of approval. We become addicted to what it makes us feel approved"
    "How we handle rejection is the key and it is always under our own control"
    "Imagine what would have happened if we would not have allowed the rejections in our life to negatively shape our identity".



    You can do this. Don't leave the forum, keep coming back and keep learning. Yes it sucks to relapse and yes you chose it instead of the forum but your here now. So stop depleting the energy that would help you change your life.

    It is that simple. Stop fapping, transmute the energy to something else to change your life. Your current life sucks. That is what takes time for people to understand. You don't like your life that is why you escape. So use the nofap energy to change what you don't like.

    If you never give nofap a chance, you would never know what your life would turn out to be. Isn't that scary? Being 40 or 50 and finally stopping because of low testosterone gen realizing what a waste it was. All your time in the trash....

    Think about that.

    @ElectroChill


    29. Some days life feels better than others.
    I have been struggling with my reboot lately.
    I am having problems with my wife for the last year. She is going through her menopause, is some days very depressed, she gets aggressive with me, etc. This makes me feel sad, my self esteem gets down and urges shows up very soon.
    I have been working on trying not to be affected by this, but sometimes it is very hard.
    Last weekend we had a big fight and i started looking for escorts ads, with the idea of meeting one of them "as a revenge".
    I know how stupid this sounds! Who I am punishing? her? Or me?
    I used to be too addicted to escorts, as much as PMO. I spent thousand of dollar on them, (and a lot of time an energy too).
    Every time I left their apartments (or the hotel room) I felt dirty, like shit.
    Four years ago, when i was with one of them, he told me his story. He was a famous P star on a very famous gay P studio en Europe. He told me how P stars are abused, humiliated, forced to have sex without protection, raped by the owner of the studio, etc. Most of them die young, from drug abuse, domestic violence, etc.
    That day I understood that watching P, or paying escorts or hookers is a felony. We are accomplices of a crime.
    And I promised myself never to do it again.
    Nevertheless, four years later, I am facing some challenges in my life and my marriage, and how do I respond? Instead of standing like a man and support my wife during these bad times...I behave like a child and want to hide once again behind PMO and escorts?
    You know how it feels: the sirens singing, trying to attract you, promising that you will have a great time if you do it.
    that all your problems will fade away. that life will be a pleasure for 10 '.
    But i know better: this is a trap that the little addicted part of my brain is trying to play. It is little because I shrunk it during these past 4 years of hard work.
    I should not let "the monster" get back to life.
    I need to stay alert every minute, and be cautious.
    This is a battle that I need to fight every day. After so many years of reboot we trend to forget that. We think that we won the war.
    That is not quite right. We have won several battles, and the enemy is weak and beaten...but it is still there. Ready to wake up if we allow him.
    Let's keep on fighting
    Fercho
     
  3. Thank you so much for the motivation and stories. I've read almost every one of those and they will definitely help me to keep on track. Have a nice one.
     
  4. 30. Performing an action over and over again won’t necessary help you firm a new habit. Emotions create habits, not repetition, bot frequency, not fairy dust. That is why we should celebrate immediately after doing the desired behavior
    BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits
     
  5. The Free Bird

    The Free Bird Fapstronaut

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    @fercho29 Thanks a LOT.
    I just read all of them and took some notes.
    It felt like reality. This addiction
    (or better to say bonding :) ) is just a BIG lie. A lie which covers your reality and your vision...
    You really helped me.

    Wish you success
     
  6. Good to know @The Free Bird , wish you luck in your reboot
     
    The Free Bird likes this.
  7. 31. "It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit and keep moving forward"

    Randy Pausch at his "Last lecture".
    Taking advantage of the lockdown i watched once again Randy Pausch last lecture. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon who was diagnose with cancer and had a few more months to live. Instead of hiding at home, he gave a last class talking about life and how to achieve your childhood dreams. It is worth to watch it, it is very inspirational and will help you realize that life is short and we should stand and defeat PMO before it is too late



    Stay strong
    Fercho
     
    engelman and The Free Bird like this.
  8. Yoo what's going on man?
    Any update?
     
  9. Everything is cool, @Freeddom_Taker , thank you for asking. Just coping with the lockdown, adjusting to being all day at home and not being able to workout, which is my way to shrink urges when they arise
    Stay strong, man
    Fercho
     
    The Free Bird and Freeddom_Taker like this.
  10. bertranr

    bertranr Fapstronaut

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    Just finished reading all this, @fercho29, thank you for being so honest and open to us. This is really helping me, specially today because since yesterday I've been fighting a big urge, and I really do not want to slip, because as you wrote: I know myself and slipping will mean, for sure, sliding the rest of the day and night.
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  11. trudge on

    trudge on Fapstronaut

    Thanks for this post!
     
    Magister WBE and fercho29 like this.
  12. That's awesome @bertranr , I suggest you copy them to your cellphone Notes so you have them handy every time you get an urge
    Stay strong
    Fercho
     
    bertranr likes this.
  13. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    This is so rich in words and content! thank you very much! it is really awful how much this addiction has affected us. Not anymore!
     
    bertranr likes this.
  14. Scion90

    Scion90 Fapstronaut

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    Really needed this post. Was feeling the urges again creep on me. Basically on netflix and amazon prime I might find a provocative pic and then I feel like watching and going on PM. Need to visit Nofap more often to read these inspirational posts. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart
     
  15. 32. This is something I wrote based on one of the classes that Mark Queppet offers in his Universal Man course. It helps me to "get out of the autopilot when I see a P star I like and start craving in my mind to become like them:

    "I am much better than any muscular pair of biceps or a voluptuous pair of boobs.
    Instead of saying: "I am not that good unless I don't have that", what I have to say is: "I am inherently good and to honor my dignity I have to reflect that my status is good."
    I have to get rid of those lies, I have to convince myself that none of this is reality, because the urge is not good for that.
    I must give myself that gift, not relapse and maintain my dignity.
    I'm good with myself and with who I am, it doesn't hurt that this P actor has a better physique than me, it doesn't make me worse than him, who is probably obsessed with his physique and is an empty person
    It's worth it, and it's worth all the sacrifice I make to maintain my dignity.
    I love myself with unconditional love, that's why I give myself that gift.
    I can admire the beauty of a woman o a man as I admire a sunset without having the desire to appropriate its image.
    The more exciting his/her body seem to me, the more I want to unify with him/her trying to feel the same.
    I am the one who put those attributes on this person, and therefore I have the power to claim and bring them out.
    I am like a vampire: I want to suck those status points that they have, that is empty energy.
    The opposite is radiant energy: "I have a gift that I offer to humanity."
    I must ask myself:
    What is the most worthy way to radiate that energy to the people around me?
    What is the correct and balanced level of status that best honor my dignity to avoid empty motivation?

    If I see P stars taking obsessive care and abusing their bodies, instead of getting mesmerized by their images, I can say: “OK, that's fine with them. That's not for me". I can even offer them, my compassion for their dysfunctional behavior.
     
    engelman and Chris_Cactusblossom like this.
  16. I haven't read all of this thread yet, but I'm going to get into the habit of reading it every time I log on, until I'm sick of it, which means it's pushing up against my subconscious resistance and reprogramming my mind.

    Thanks for this!
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  17. I am glad you find them useful man. I have them on the notes of my cell phone, so I can read them as soon as I get an urge
    Stay strong
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  18. lightshine1997

    lightshine1997 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for sharing all these points. Very helpful. We really need this kind of a cold shower at times to wake up!
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  19. The Glowing Shadow

    The Glowing Shadow Fapstronaut

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    Bro you are just awesome. Thanks bro for this post.
    I could actually relate it to my own life. After I started fapping everything in life just went down whether it be studies, concentration, will power or even quality of my thoughts.
    Again thanks for such a motivating post
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  20. ABworks

    ABworks Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the emergency toolbox, I think this could help a lot of NoFappers.
    I copied all the sentences I found useful (which are a lot) into my notes app, so I can take them everywhere.
    It's a good idea to read through the sentences when we're struggling and maybe also when we're not at the moment, so over the months we're able to change our way of thinking.
     
    fercho29 likes this.

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