My First Blog....Had to be about wanking didn't it

Hi, Thanks for reading if you've took the time. I hope my blog proves useful and hopefully entertaining and inspirational. Otherwise I'll probably feel a bit shitty.

I'm D, early 30's UK. I've been into porn as long as I can remember, probably from when as a young lad I first saw ripped out pages from dirty magazines in the trees near our house (we used to play in the trees, awesome arena for young minds). I also recall seeing the biggest porn stash I've ever seen at my nana's house under her bed while looking for something, we both new I'd seen it somehow I reckon because it was gone when I tried to find it for a proper look. I like to think it was my from my uncle's room some years ago but it's kinda suspicious, I think my nana was maybe a bit freaky on the old raz mags (sorry nana). Anyway I've always enjoyed porn throughout my adolescence, it's always been pretty readily available, throughout many different relationships, of which there's been many and no shortage of sexual partners, loves and doves I've always maintained a healthy dose of porn, lessened arguably during good times in good relationships, still present to a degree however but flourished throughout bad times.

Over the years I've had fleeting thoughts of stopping watching porn but never really to any avail, I've never really challenged the fact that I started again I just thought f**k it, it's an awesome thing to do, why would you not. It was only over the past few years that I started to consider porn usage similar to addiction, this started from reading stories online and relating them to yours but also the times i'd relapse days after considering this the easiest thing i'd ever do, highly similar to alcohol or nicotine addiction, both of which I'd kicked successfully after some 15 - 20 years, and more recently still that I considered that this may actually be the most addictive of all. Considering the fact I actually never managed to kick the habit after all of these years this could be true. Hence my signing up to nofap inspired, by chance upon a youtube video. And more recently still when after 3 days I realised, fuck, this actually does deserve some serious attention and consideration as i'm embarking on a task so big that most don't consider it even possible...(shit getting a slight twinge at the excitement of it all)


I don't know about others, I've only read a few stories so far but for me the hardest thing about nofap is the fact that I thoroughly enjoy masturbation, not just with porn, but realistically more pleasurably using my imagination, hence my refrain from seriously approaching this matter over the years...however through different experiences different considerations I've personally developed the assumption (I'm trying to avoid the word belief here) that the act of instant gratification in the sexual realm ultimately hacks away at your core self, drains away your most creative and energising energies, and holds you back as a potentially divine creature (I f*cking hope so) and even more damningly hacks away at your priceless sexual energy and ultimately starving your mojo of it's source. So regardless of how enjoyable it is I believe that it is a temporary pleasure which comes at a high cost, holding you back when we could all use all the help we can get in these challenging times, when the planet could really do without another wanker.

Ok, so sorry if this drags on, i'm not a writer, but try to set the mood best I can. For now i'm 3 days in, as always I made this promise just after knocking one out, mainly because I was going online for something completely different and thought what the f*ck man, this is just on auto pilot now, don't I get a say in the matter anymore (always a sign you need to kick a habit). And as with all moments just after you reach penile enlightenment are, you're full of the joys of life and think a nofap challenge is the easiest thing in the world to complete, if you can kick tabs, alcohol junk food, you can kick the personal drainer...but it's in that mindset that we're bound to fail, forgetting that this is one of the most normalised activities in humanity with some of the least documented and highly apparent impacts. Whilst the benefits to stopping are somewhat instantly apparent, they're not always acknowledged or discussed.

With this in mind I decided to do the most unexpected thing and write a blog about one of my most embarrassing topics (and I do not embarrass easy) and write a blog about masturbation...And this was only decided because after 3 days I'm already so full of additional energy that I can actually feel my body looking for an outlook and reaching for the easiest and laziest option of knocking one out. So with that in mind I need to find better ways to utilise my energies, reading, meditating, training and now I guess and assume continued blogging (I am flighty - I could drop this).

If you've read this thanks, please give me your stories if you wish, if nobody has then just thanks to nofap for giving guys like me the reminder that this is a huge challenge and opportunity and we need to stop tossing it off.

Cheers, D

 

So, first follow up ramble.

Thanks for the link Dogwood, I enjoyed the article, was nice reading and made sense, although I've forgot most of it right now as I'm, a little tipsy whilst writing this.

So today is my second week anniversary since I first begun the nofap journey. I expected or at least felt a twang of confidence and excitement that I'd be the guy that did it first time no issues... alas t'was not to be, 12 days in during a meditation session (mediation improved during dry times) listening to binaural beats I had an intense visual sexual transcending experience, resulting in a space style launch, ultimately cutting short my target significantly. I can't help feeling that those 12 days changed my world immensely. Although I did not set out what I aimed to achieve I once again feel worthy within myself and more optimistic about the chances of living a life worth living within an environment of bewilderment. remembering that's it's our responsibility to live more ethical than the culture that formed us (apologies for the rehashed philosophy).

I'm excited by the potential of a future without self nullification, a future with vision and energy and the ability to challenge oneself, see the positives in life, walk my own path, live healthy, physically and spiritually.. or at least give it a try.

I'll write more upon other occasions I'm sure, but I'm never quite sure which stuff to write down, so far Sunday's seem to bet the key.

For now anybody who's considering this path my first qualified advice I could offer is that there is definitely excitement to be had in trying nofap so keep your hands in your pants for a while and see how you feel. You might just excite your life.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the chance to write #nofap.

D