My friends don't take pornography addiction very seriously.

Most men who don't go out of their way to stop watching porn naturally wont care for what we are doing. Two different spectrum's, both people are at different points in their lives.

Their reactions are normal. I wouldn't pay any mind to it. Just focus on your steps and what you are doing to achieve your own goals. Don't forget this IS a very personal goal that we are each embarking on and you cannot expect everyone to understand.

At the end of the day, if someone is a 'true' friend, then they should be supportive.

It doesn't really matter how they react. You're doing this to better YOU.

 

I told a female friend of mine and she just laughed at me... I tried showing her Gary Wilson's Tedtalk and yourbrainonporn.com but she still came out with the usual BS about 'masturbation prevents prostate cancer' 'everybody watches porn' which was kind of frustrating for me.

 

The truth is that a lot of people don't take it seriously.BUT If they are willing to understand, you can provide information to convince them. It takes time. There was a time when people laughed off the effects of tobacco and probably drugs too but that's changed. It took time.

 

My friends don't support me as well and think its normal to fap.However i don't and i will resume my NoFap.They will be amazed by the new person i would become.I even put their demotivational words as a wallpaper to motivate and show them im BETTER in some time.

If you think its bad and you get benefits of it stay on Nofap.Keep it to your self and keep amazing them as you change along the way.

I would also suggest you should get an AP as both of you would have motivation to get better.

 

I think the worst thing is when something that is supposed to be wrong has eventually become "normal" because "everyone is doing it". This includes porn, but also other things that might be super messed up.

For example, I remember 10 or 15 years ago, having your face glued onto a phone or a computer all the time when there are people around you chatting and socializing is considered to be very rude. Nowadays, this is considered normal because "everyone is doing it". However, in reality, this is not right.

The same thing can be said about masturbation and pornography. A couple of decades ago, masturbation/pornography was considered immoral. Now it's become completely normal, to the point where people think you're wierd if you don't masturbate to porn.

 

It's all about business; i.e. how to exploit our primitive cave-man brain and its various vulnerabilities. For every such vulnerability, there will be thousands of opportunists ready to exploit it to make money, but no one to oppose such exploitation. Industries such as the porn industry are organized and flush with cash to pay lobbyists that fight any potential opposition.

I think the tobacco industry is quite parallel to the porn industry in a lot of these ways (i.e. a highly profitable business based on marketing and selling an addictive and harmful product). I'm not sure how the backlash against tobacco gained enough steam to win some battles, but even with those victories, they can still sell cigarettes which are known to cause cancer! I suspect it was the scientific research that proved the connection between smoking and cancer that eventually caused a groundswell of support for the idea that we should at least limit cigarette advertising and public exposure to second-hand smoke.

I'm pretty sure that porn is here to stay. The question is whether or not there will be enough basic research to demonstrate the addictive nature and harmful effects of porn to create a similar tipping point where some sort of public anti-porn policies can be effectively made and enforced.

I'm not so worried about current porn users; they (we) will have to make the decision to quit for ourselves. I'm very worried about the next generation of porn users. Hooking them, and hooking them young is what the porn industry moguls want; what they depend on for their future business growth. That's what we need to stop; we need to find a way to gain the attention of lawmakers - to fragment the internet into porn and non-porn so that young people are not discovering this over and over again and getting hooked due to their parents ignorance and/or apathy. To my mind, this is society's only hope of a bright future...

 

Good points.

 

Think of it from the perspective that the world isn't aware of pornography addiction, at least not in the same way as drugs or alcohol, not to mention - because porn is so prevalent - ~50 of the people you talk about it with are likely to be being influenced by it and potentially lost in their own sea of denial or excuses.

What you can take heart from is that you, me and everyone here can be the forerunners who, bit by bit, change this viewpoint and make it easier for those who come after us. It may be tougher for us but we can take pride in making it better for the next generation of nofappers.

 

Try saying to someone "I drink alcohol" and expect then to say anything other tham "so what, doesn't "everybody?" yet alcohol abuse destroys lives. Just because something can be used in moderation and as part of a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean it can't be very damaging. In my case PMO had become some kind of self medication thing to avoid facing up to the things in my life that caused depression and low self esteem. Yup, give me a button that instantly makes me feel better (dopamine rush) when i'm feeling low and expect me not to press it??? Of course the internet has made it much easier to get the "good stuff" and so the traditional ways that require harder work (building relationships, dealing with people, etc.) fall by the wayside, replaced by a fake high that only temporarily relieves the need in our subconscious. This of it like drinking to cure your lifes problems, in the morning they're still there, plus you have a stinking hangover.

 

Really great comment.

Yeah, we just create these illusions in our heads. Porn is not real. It's reaching out for something that you cannot have. And most of the time it's done in secret behind closed doors. It's secret, because most of the things being watched are shameful.

I refuse now to live through fantasies that I have created in my own mind. When you're watching porn, you're wishing that it was you ploughing that brunette. You're having sex with an image and this lifestyle of masturbation can seep out into your real life, with how you interact with others etc...

When you leave PMO behind it makes you more accomplished as a man and it causes you to become less needy in relationships. After a while, you don't seek women as much, because it's not about what YOU can get from them any more, but rather, what you can give. It's no longer just about a lust being fulfilled within yourself.

 

To quote Gary Wilson: "What is water?"

I'm guessing like much of society your friends are so inundated by media and visual stimulus (including porn) that they can't even comprehend living without it. To them being controlled by carnal desire is natural...

 

Great point.

And I really sympathise with the point about other friends not understanding my need to give up porn. The point is that for me the fantasy is everything. I've got to remove the fantasy to start to relate honestly with women.

I don't want to scare you but I was sexually abused as a child and sex has never been associated with emotions for me. Porn has allowed me to feel normal about this gross deficiency in my character.

 

Well, it's kinda hard to get support from a friend who is more addicted to porn than you. Trust me, I also have a friend like yours and he didn't even take pornography addiction very seriously. So I took advice from someone else instead and then I got a lot of support that I need. And I'm pretty sure if your friend is also addicted to it, he will also feel guilty of what he had done.

 

I like it. Nicely put.

 

I relate so much of my nofap experience to my AA experience and alcoholism...
I guess an addiction is an addiction...
anyways, most people who drink regularly drink too much and its hard for them to get it when you stop drinking... despite arrests. daily drinking. and fucking up my life goals and being forced to change them due to alcohol... many of my friends even after i went away to rehab laughed at me and even don't hang out any more because i quit that addiction. they are addicted too but maybe they just havent hit rock bottom yet mayb they never will...
alcohol, porn... they are just ways to escape. if you are truely satisfied with your life then you shouldnt need to turn to those degrading lowlife activities for "fun". we got suckered into the hype and thought it was harmless. we were wrong. at least we were blessed enough to see it this way and get a chance to learn to live life without some fake escape...

 

I told a friend of mine that I thought porn was garbage. "No it isn't!" flew out of his mouth faster than a speeding bullet. An addict will defend his habit no matter what.

 

I'm slowly convincing my friend porn is extremely damaging to the brain. I think he understands most of it, and I referred him to the studies on yourbrainonporn in particular. He agrees it's addicting and can be harmful, but how can I help sell him on the fact that even the soft stuff like solo amateurs/voyeur is just as destructive to your brain? I mean if your looking at exclusively softcore, your still immersing yourself in P use either way. What other points should I be making?

 

The reason most people often refuse to accept that porn has damaging impacts is because of something called willful blindness. That is, even though they have blatant facts in front of their eyes that show the reality of porn, they choose to ignore that. It is usually extremely hard to change their minds. The best thing to do is to avoid trying to get them to accept this truth cause that would only be futile. Just change yourself for the better by removing pmo from your lifestyle and ignore the naysayers, as Arnold Schwarzeneger calls them.