Hello guys! My "name" is Indrid Cold, and I'm here because I finally decided to man up, recognize I have a problem and try to solve it. I've been addicted to porn since like I was 10 years old! I started watching softcore movies on TV past midnight and in my teen years I started to watch internet porn on an almost daily basis, having a big collection. In fact, my collection was so big that I bought three external 500 GB hard drives to store it! That also included a lot of pictures related to pornstars, actress I found attractive and even woman I knew in real life and fantasized about. Masturbating was always a big thing in my life, ever since I discovered porn at an early age: I'm a 22 year old virgin and I've never even kissed a woman, so I've always masturbated to porn to satisfy my sexual appetite. However, as time went by, masturbating started to feel like something boring, so I tried a lot of techniques: from edging to maximize the orgasmic pleasure, or trying to reach my g-spot via anal stimulation to making a homemade pussy -I even was going to purchase a Flashlight!-. I've also had thoughts of losing my virginity to a prostitute to see If that could calm my urge, but I always ended up realizing it would not help! About 6 months ago (last december), I decided I wanted to end with it: I didn't feel safe (always the constant fear that someone could possibly discover my collection -hell, I even had pictures of my best friend's mother! Imagine if some of my friends discovered that...- ), even thought I always made my porn-fanaticism public and I even encouraged and felt proud of it. Besides, I realized that porn was consuming a lot of time in my daily life: I could spend like two or three hours searching for new porn to store in my collection, porn that I would never watch in it's enterity. Deleting my collection was somekind of "spiritual" release: I felt free and a I had a lot of time to spend instead of trying to find new porn. I did not quit masturbating though, and after a week, I started the search for new porn again. Until then, I didn't new about NoFap or the damages that a porn addiction could have made to me. It took me 6 months to recognize I had a real problem. Masturbation started to became boring and unpleseant, I was starting to create a new porn collection again and I felt seriously frustrated with my lack of sexual contact with real women. That's when I came across this site and other sites and I even watched a couple of YouTube videos about porn addiction and I felt quite related to some of the experiences I read or the symptoms I found. At first I was like "this people is crazy... they're exaggerating...", but in the last months, I became more self-aware of my condition, came to terms with my own problems and decided I needed a change. Four days ago I deleted all of my porn: I gave one of my external hard drives to a friend who needs it for work, another one to my father who also needed it for work, and lastly, I keeped one and started to fill it with movies for my mother and little cousins to watch and even with movies that I can watch whenever I need a break. I also stopped masturbating: while I'm not against it, I feel that I need a break from it, and that it will surely help against my porn addiction. It's being quite a challenge, and I fear that I start the porn-collecting cycle again... but this time is different: this time I got help, I recognized my problems, decided to share my story and I'm determined to reboot myself once and for all. Thanks for reading! Hope this helps someone... I can surely tell that writing this was truly cathartic.
Indrid buddy You are only 22! You have your whole life ahead of you! You should feel excited and glad that you found this site at such a young age! Unfortunately I didn't know about this until I was 31, but still, it's pretty good! Now, here's what you need to do: Never, ever touch your penis again. That's right. I haven't touched my penis for 180 days. You will get your urges. You will occasionally see naked women on TV, in the movies, or in your dreams. But whatever it is that is enticing you, just focus on something else and ignore it. Go to the gym, eat ice cream, watch your favourite TV show (not porn!), do some homework. Whatever it is, do not masturbate. Good luck buddy. If I can do it, you can too.
Thanks for the words NoFapAsian! So far I'm handling it pretty well, though I'm just on day 4! I stopped working out on december, but now I'm planning to get back to gym next week!
Congrats on deleting your collection and turning the drives into thoughtful gifts! That was a really imaginative and symbolic way to signal that you're done being a boy living for yourself and ready to be 'a man for others'. Good luck!
