Hello everybody! My name is Michael, I'm 26 yo, I've been addicted to porn since my teen days, probably since 13 or 14 yo. And I have always had sexual problems with girls I've met - problems with erection. I have found this nofap.org accidently, browsing the internet... I tried to quit masturbation several times, but with no success. I hope that this site and participation in community will help me to quit this addiction forever and improve my sexual ability with females. I think that's all I want to say now... My last fap was 02.07.2014... Hope that it was REALLY LAST time.
One day without PMO... For me it was easy. Already feeling more focused, more positive, a little more argessive. I've noticed that every time I do PMO, right after that I feel terrible, fall into depression, I want nothing at all, sadness etc. So, PMO really damages your body, hormones level, I proved it for myself hundred times. But couldnt quit that bad habit so far... If I can live without PMO for a week - that's a big deal for me.
Hey Michael, You can do it! Just take it day by day. Being careful not to look at anything that can trigger u or cause you to look@porn & masturbate. What process do you u have in place when you get triggered/horny. If none, start to think of some or maybe even consider an accountability partner to help you in this struggle.
Weekend without PMO... And here they come - all the symptoms of addiction. Every girl I see on the street triggers my emotions... Only 4 days but it becomes tough. The only thing that stops me - when I think about my counter. My goal - 90 days without PMO. If I want to have O, I have to go out and have real sex. Only real sex with real girl and no P. Want to throw P out of my life completely, want to be healthy and active man and have real sex with real emotions. Dammit, let's do it one day at a time. I am already gone crazy...
I restarted my counter. Today I did M. But it was without Internet P or any P at all. It was just my mind game and imagination... I reset my counter whenever I intentionally watch any P and do PMO. And I reset my counter whenever I intentionally M and O without watching any P. My personal record now is 5 days. So, the journey begins again... DAMN
And I restart my counter again - exactly the same reason. No P but still want to M. How, how can I throw out this damn habit??
Yesterday I restarted my counter again. And it was Internet P. At least I am honest with myself. What I've found that I feel terrible... I feel terrible because I can't control myself, seems like I have not enough will power to stop and "reboot" my life. I've found great web-site - yourbrainonporn-dot-com and many many great information there... I am motivated to start all over again and just do it, clean my mind of everything artificial and learn again to enjoy real life and real relationships with real partners. It is even harder than I could imagine the first time. But I keep on keeping on.
Don't allow your mind to focus on how terrible/negative you feel about yourself.Turn that negativity around to help you. You, like all of us, are in a process that will take time and determination. Think of it this way: let's say all of a sudden you decide you want to be a sprint runner. Your not just expecting to enter a track meet and win first place for the very first time. No, 1st you have to buy the right shoes, start the process of conditioning your body, practicing, maybe get a coach or some running buddies, etc. You go run a mile for the 1st time and see what your time is-low and behold your time is at 10minutes, but you know you have to get it down to 7minutes because that's what all the fast runners have their winning times at, right? So what do you? You keep working at it day by day-knowing some days will be good, some maybe bad with a fall, a scrape or injury but you get back right up even more determined than ever-even getting a renewed hunger and fervor that says, "I refuse to give up or give in, I don't care what I have to do, I don't care what it takes, I won't stop, I Will GET MY GOLD MEDAL!" That's the mindframe I want you, MichaelHolmes, to have. You can do this! Private message me whenever you need help/encouragement.
Hang in there Michael, we are all fighting the same fight to win the war, though battles will be lost. Focus and schedule your self busy: working out, running, team sports, etc. so you are never bored and alone, too tired at bed time and busy early in the morning to get you moving. I try all of the above and still just reset myself, but I will try, try again. Never, EVER, give up!
Thank you, 818alliswell818! You wrote very motivating stuff! We all can do this and change our lives for better.
3 days and 16 hours without any P or M. And I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I had sex twice during this weekend, with my girl, we've been together for 3+ years now. The bad news is that I had terrible E and completely no emotions. I had to fire myself up and close my eyes and intensely dream aobut sex, imagine sexual pornographic scenes... And it worked for me. For all my sexual life it is the only thing that worked for me during real sex - intense mind work. Because I can't feel anything, I have no emotions. Sometimes I feel something but not this time. At least I did not M on Internet P and had real sex with real partner, who I love so much. She said it was great and she liked sec very much, but I am the only one who knows what's going on on my mind... So, I feel sad. But, as I said, I did not M on Internet P and this is an achievement. Rebooting process continues. I am holding on.
Michael, Every time you PMO, you're lying to yourself. Don't sit at home alone. Go out, be with your friends. Go to the gym. Once you get over 90 days, then you can spend time sitting at home. Whatever you do, don't touch your penis.
Hello, Asian! I read your story. And it is really really f..ing ispiring! I've been through all this stuff too - lack of energy, dependence on women, women didn't like me because of my non-masculine appearence... I felt it was like continuous weekness. And of course I tried to drop that M habit and everytime I did - I felt much better - just as you describe it! My mind gets clearer, my physique gets better. I used to go to the gym regularly but now I do nothing to improve my physical shape... Right now I am 4 days and 17 hours without PMO, had sex twice during this period, but it wasn't so emotional and exciting... I feel pretty well and I am determined to do whatever it takes just to reach my 90 days goal. I believe that my life will turn upside down if I will do it. And I will. Thanks for your support, Asian, it means a lot to me.
Now it's 6 days and 20 hours without PMO. I broke my last 5 days record!) I feel much more energized, sometimes agressive. When I see girls on the street I feel that some process inside me begins... can not describe it, but I didn't have it before. My mind is also much more focused and clear. I feel that I want everything in this world - this healthy masculine feeling that I can do f..g anything. Yesterday while I was driving my car in the evening I had sudden thought... I am done with it. I am completely done with that damn habit. Well, of course I did not believe myself... But this affirmation @I am done with it@ goes on and on in my mind. I mean if I am really done with it, thats awesome!! But, as I said, I don't believe it and time will tell... I'll keep posting everything that happens to me.
But one thing really pisses me off - I want emotions during real sex! That was always the problem, and I blame my PMO habit for that. I want emotions and passion return as quickly as possible. Because sex becomes hard work instead of joy...
A WEEK without PMO, without any P, without mind games, without touching my penis. Wow! I became more social. I've found useful spend of my time. I am back to weights - I want to improve my physique. And the affirmation "I am DONE with it" is continuosly going in my mind. I hope I am really done with it. And I hope that real sex will someday bring me real joy and emotion. For everyone out there struggling with PMO: just hold on, day by day. Just say to yourself - I am DONE with it. Once and forever. And keep going, keep improving your lifes. At least, this approach helped me during this week. If I can go 7 days and 16 hours without PMO, you can do it too. You can do it. You're done with it. Once and for all.
Yes, it's 11 days and 18 hours without PMO. Yes, it's more than 10% completed. And yes, I am DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF. I had sex with my girlfriend again - once, this weekend. Well, it was a little better than previous time... A little more emotion. But I can't say that everything is far better than it used to be. But I keep on my fight, and I want to achieve 90 days without PMO. I am done with it - I keep saying it to myself. What are other benefits of 11 days without PMO? Well, I began to spend my time more productive, my mind is as clear as possible, I am focused, concentrated. Right now I am in the process of seeking a new job, so my mind is totally focused on one goal - to find a new job with particular salary I've always wanted. So, I am learning new skills, every day I so something that moves me to my goal. I feel more energized but every day is different. I decided to go back to my physique, I do some simple excercises - push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, some static stuff and kettlebells. Did my life become better during those 11 days? My answer is - yes, absolutely. Just because of the fact that I did not break and did not do PMO. Did my sexual ability imrove during those 11 days? My answer is - no. Did my mind, my inner condition, my focus and concentration, my persistance improve during those 11 days? My answer is - YES. So, I just keep on, I quit everything artificial, I am for real sex and real relationships, I keep saying to myself "I am done with it", I began to work on my career and my physical condition. Life becomes better day by day. One day at a time.
