Addiction
I discovered PMO in the 4th grade, a bit earlier than most of my friends at the time. Of course, like all of us who just started, I had no idea what it was. The content started out just as pictures of naked women. These eventually turned into videos when I found them.
I experimented with M and found that by lying down on my bed instead of the traditional method, I applied much more pressure to myself and gained more pleasure that way. So, I eventually transitioned into Ming in what is called the prone position.
This turned out to be a positive and negative for me; it was harder to get caught and I could do it right on my bed with a laptop. However, the extra pressure from Ming in this manner made it so regular M did not arouse me as much anymore. This didn't bother me as much at the time. By then, most of my friends had starting PMOing and it was hard to bring this subject up with them (they all did it the traditional way).
I started fantasizing about the girls that I liked while I was masturbating; this led to a really fucked up cycle. Since the fantasies I experienced while Ming were so realistic, I often felt like I was already in a relationship with the girl and anything they did that contradicted that thought (talk to other boys, show less affection toward me, etc) dragged me into deep states of depression. I would wallow in sadness that I didn't understand for a week or two (all the while PMOing to extreme content) and then continue with what I was doing before. Sometime in high school, I got into adult online role-playing involving cyber sex through IM. I PMOed this way, in conjunction to normal P on another window.
Acceptance
I finally realized my problem when I took a trip to Taiwan. I met a really cute girl at a party and we started chatting. We were both the same age and connected really well at the event, so the next day I called her to ask if she wanted to go out again. We did this a couple more times and eventually I ended up taking her back home. When things got really hot, I realized I couldn't get hard, even after long foreplay. She was really understanding and we ended up just cuddling for the night. The following morning, we tried again and this time I was successful, but it did take a fair bit of physical and mental work on both our parts.
At the time, I attributed my lack of virility to the fact that I had several drinks with her the night before. But a nagging thought in the back of my head told me that I really had a problem. That day, I went back to my hotel and researched about the negative effects of P and M.
I found this site in my searches and finally gave in to what I had refused to believe all these years: I had a severe problem and I needed to change it if I was ever going to move on with my life.
Change
Over the next 90 days, here are my goals:
I know this awesome community will be a big factor in helping me reach all these goals. I know that y'all are facing your own challenges at this very moment, so please, if you want have questions or concerns or just want to talk, don't hesitate to PM.
Let's do this guys! LET'S BE GLORIOUS!!!
I discovered PMO in the 4th grade, a bit earlier than most of my friends at the time. Of course, like all of us who just started, I had no idea what it was. The content started out just as pictures of naked women. These eventually turned into videos when I found them.
I experimented with M and found that by lying down on my bed instead of the traditional method, I applied much more pressure to myself and gained more pleasure that way. So, I eventually transitioned into Ming in what is called the prone position.
This turned out to be a positive and negative for me; it was harder to get caught and I could do it right on my bed with a laptop. However, the extra pressure from Ming in this manner made it so regular M did not arouse me as much anymore. This didn't bother me as much at the time. By then, most of my friends had starting PMOing and it was hard to bring this subject up with them (they all did it the traditional way).
I started fantasizing about the girls that I liked while I was masturbating; this led to a really fucked up cycle. Since the fantasies I experienced while Ming were so realistic, I often felt like I was already in a relationship with the girl and anything they did that contradicted that thought (talk to other boys, show less affection toward me, etc) dragged me into deep states of depression. I would wallow in sadness that I didn't understand for a week or two (all the while PMOing to extreme content) and then continue with what I was doing before. Sometime in high school, I got into adult online role-playing involving cyber sex through IM. I PMOed this way, in conjunction to normal P on another window.
Acceptance
I finally realized my problem when I took a trip to Taiwan. I met a really cute girl at a party and we started chatting. We were both the same age and connected really well at the event, so the next day I called her to ask if she wanted to go out again. We did this a couple more times and eventually I ended up taking her back home. When things got really hot, I realized I couldn't get hard, even after long foreplay. She was really understanding and we ended up just cuddling for the night. The following morning, we tried again and this time I was successful, but it did take a fair bit of physical and mental work on both our parts.
At the time, I attributed my lack of virility to the fact that I had several drinks with her the night before. But a nagging thought in the back of my head told me that I really had a problem. That day, I went back to my hotel and researched about the negative effects of P and M.
I found this site in my searches and finally gave in to what I had refused to believe all these years: I had a severe problem and I needed to change it if I was ever going to move on with my life.
Change
Over the next 90 days, here are my goals:
- Stay absolutely P and M free.
- O only allowed with girls.
- Improve my social skills with girls.
- Improve my social skills.
- Cure my ED.
- Return to intense work out schedule (4-5 times/week)
- Improve my diet (specifics posted later)
- Improve my skin quality.
I know this awesome community will be a big factor in helping me reach all these goals. I know that y'all are facing your own challenges at this very moment, so please, if you want have questions or concerns or just want to talk, don't hesitate to PM.
Let's do this guys! LET'S BE GLORIOUS!!!