My story - gaining ground. 30+ days

AJ777

Fapstronaut
NoFap Defender
So I haven't posted or logged in on here in forever. But I felt like maybe I should to share some of my success and maybe some tips. My story isn't really different than most. (Exposure at young age, introverted and isolated, addicted throughout teen years, etc.) so I'll try to keep this short and sweet and not go into too much detail.

In my early 20s I realized porn was a real problem for me and got serious about combating it. This involved talking about it with a close relative, downloading blockers on my phone, using this website, buying help/guide books on the subject, etc.
I didn't see my first victory until late 2020 (around November), where I lasted about 270 days without porn. I had my first relapse in August of 2021, and since then I haven't quite made it that length of time of sobriety, but my relapses have been more spaced out and I seem to be gradually losing interest in P. / IT is losing it's grip on ME.
I should clarify that during that almost year-long sobriety I still struggled with M. and occasionally gave into that, and still currently do. But now, at 27 years of age I feel like I've come a long way. My last relapse was at the end of August and since then I've only been tempted to look at P. once. This year I seem to average about 2 months in between relapses.

One thing I think that's helped, and something I think too many people fail to do... is stop giving this struggle/addiction SO MUCH of your focus and time. Part of the reason I went AFK for so long on here was to just focus on my own life and stop keeping track of how many "days sober" I was, as I was starting to realize it wasn't particularly helpful for me. Not saying this will 100% be the case for everyone else, but I believe that a lot of us were/are trying to combat it with good intentions, but in the worst possible way.
This already may be obvious to some, but I think one of the best things you can do is focus on improving your life in other areas (for me that meant getting back into church and reading my bible, etc.) and staying busy - don't stop to feel sorry for yourself or feel guilty about the relapse you had three nights ago. Don't give porn an ounce of your energy or thoughts. Even thinking about it in a negative manner, with frustration and hatred towards it, can be exhausting - and mental exhaustion opens a door for temptation.

I feel like a burden has been lifted from me this year - not in that I've completely overcome this issue, because I still struggle with lust like every guy out there - but in that I feel porn no longer controls me or who I am. I've stumbled and looked at it a few times or so this year - compared to the hundreds of times I watched it a year in my teens. So yes, I think I'm gaining ground.

Just to provider some further insight on my current situation, and proof that I'm human:
M./Self stimulation is another battle entirely that seems almost impossible for me to conquer. I think the longest I've EVER stayed sober from this was about 30 days. My average sober-streak is 2 weeks. Similar to my struggle with P., I don't let myself get bogged down with guilt when I give into this temptation, but when the temptation does arise I do everything I can to resist it. And those occasions where I do refrain for 3 weeks or more always result in some frustration and nocturnal emissions.
I applaud those of you who are completely abstinent. I don't know how you do it lol.

Anyway, I hope this might be helpful in some way. Please don't give up the fight, as hopeless as it may seem. Change doesn't happen overnight.
 
Hey AJ. Good job on your recovery. Even though you may say you've only averaged 2 weeks of no MO, this is very inspiring to me. Personally I can't go a few days without it but like you I'm working on it and every month it gets better. I like the progress you've been able to achieve especially with no P over the years. I agree that working on other things helps with recovery. Not sure if you still go on here but I wish you the best.
 
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