Need help stucked in relapse cycle

Hello Hulk! Welcome to the community!

I can relate with what you have described. It is painful when you are in the loop of constant relapse. The lack of energy and sense of disgust is understandable.

A few months of staying away from porn doesn't mean you have totally healed yourself from your addiction. This journey is one that requires patience, perseverance.

Don't lose hope. Get back on the saddle and keep moving.

STRATEGIES are very important.

I'd suggest that you start a journal here in the journal section. It can help you gather your thoughts and record your progress. Update it often.

I'd like to share some strategies shared by a wise person.


With that disclaimer, here's what worked for me:

1. Make a very firm resolution. You won't get very far if you are only half-convinced.

2. Write out the reasons you are doing this. This supports step 1. You will likely be able to add to this list, later. You will want to review this list frequently, especially when tempted.

3. 'Burn your boats' -- meaning, close off all opportunities (so far as you can) to return to where you were. If you have memberships in web sites, cancel them. I had a web page filled with images; I deleted it. Delete all images, files and links; erase all traces, so you can't retrace your steps. In a few days, you will want to. If you can find a suitable web blocker, this is also a good idea.


4. Learn about your addiction. This was a very important part of my recovery, although it happened over a long time before I gained great success. I analyzed my moods, and the circumstances in which I tended to act out. I saw patterns: certain days, and times of day, were more a problem than others. I saw that certain moods tended to be "prime time" for acting out. I can abbreviate them thus: Bored, Lonely, Angry/frustrated, Hungry, Sad, Tired. Others could identify other emotions. But here's what is important: if you see these same things, it should be obvious what's going on: you've become accustomed to resolving this mood with this behavior. It's become a habit; when you feel bored, you reach for...PMO. Same for frustration or tiredness. See next step for what you do about this.

6. Make a plan. When you know what moods you currently respond to with PMO, decide what ELSE you'll do instead. "When bored, I will (fill in the blank). Plan for alternative ways to fill the empty time; don't even have empty time. There's a lot that can be said about the contents of your plan; for that, I suggest looking around this site. My plan involves strategies for dealing, as noted, with problem times and moods, as well as meeting my needs in alternative ways

7. Meeting my needs. I saw at least three needs that PMO was the way I satisfied them (not well, of course); and so I included in my plan a deliberateness about seeking alternatives that are good and meaningful and lifegiving. Let me explain, because the connection here may not be clear to all (and you may not agree with my reasoning.


Good Luck on your journey!! You are not alone in this fight! Keep healing!

 

just created my account to say thank you. I will screenshot and use this list to help me and my recovery, currently in my first hour of recovery. Am caught in the same cycle after streaks of 89days, then cycles, then 100days, back to cycles, but this will help, thank you

 

I’ve been where you are before man. It sucks. I just resolved to not let failure stop me from trying again. Once you determine that you’re going to keep getting back up no matter what, and staying honest all the while, the setbacks aren’t as disappointing. You can do this bro, stay strong.

 

Hi brother, how's your journey so far? How are you?