Hi, Ima new here. I browsed the site a few weeks ago but told myself I wasn't addicted and that I could control myself. A foolish mistake. My wife died in May after a three year struggle with a brain tumour and to the outside world I am coping well. But in my head Im a mess! I have two young children for whom I am now solely responsible. Since my wife passed I have quickly graduated from porn to cam sites (about 2.5 months ago) Formed numerous 'false relationships' which I can't give up and am spending way way too much. Worse one of these so called friends has got my contact details from my indiscretion and I am a little afraid of the consequences. despite this I still find myself visiting the same site every day and forming new 'relationships' I have tried to 'control' my addiction telling myself I can visit less and within budget. But in the dark hours I always seem to manage to give myself an excuse as to why 'today' its ok. Sometimes its because I'm celebrating a sale at work (so have the budget and deserve a reward) Other times its because Ive had a bad day and deserve it to cheer myself up. I always masturbate and have even taken pills so I can masturbate more! To the outside world I'm ok but inside I'm a mess! I hope this place helps, I know something needs to change but I am struggling to even start. Help!