New Fapstronauts: I look for help, advice and to free myself from porn-masturbation

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Luke 765, Jan 4, 2019.

  1. Luke 765

    Luke 765 Fapstronaut

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    Greetings to all of you Fapstronauts. I already knew the NoFap community, and now I decided to participate. I am an Italian boy of 16 who is struggling with all his strength to free himself from this addiction.
    I began to masturbate at the age of 12, talking to friends who advised me to try to play my penis while I was looking at sexy images, telling myself it would be nice. With the passage of time I began to masturbate more and more times a day every day, using pornographic material. At that age I was completely unaware of the damage I was creating. I continue like this until the beginning of high school (14 years), when I realized that I masturbated too much, and so I decided to decrease the number. Over time I masturbated more and more little, about once a week, in full control of my urges. So I decided not to masturbate for a certain period of time: I arrived at 50 days. During this time I became another person: more self-confidence, increased physical strength, lack of shyness with talking to the girls (first I was a very shy guy with the fear of talking to other girls). In short of the advantages of the Nofap, I felt like another person, everyone noticed my change.
    The masturbation came back to the day 51: Left by the girl, I decided to masturbate to relax. I had never done it. The first periods I masturbated regularly, but then with the passing of the months I started at the age of 15 to resume the rhythm of 5-6 masturbations a week. I lost control of myself this summer: I masturbated almost every day, in alternating periods, even coming to do it more than 10 times in a day. I tried everything on the internet to excite myself: I spent whole days without leaving home to masturbate with the shame of not being seen by others. I saw everything: from hardcore to interracial, up to strapon between man and woman and shemale (tired of the usual things I started looking at these categories)
    Last September I realized that I was a porn-masturbation addict: I started looking for videos, guides, books about masturbation on the internet. In the meantime, during a bad period, I took refuge in masturbation, using it as an escape. I came to inflict self-harm and feel depressed for hours, with guilt that increased more and more. But every time I fell I found the strength to get up, I wanted to stop with all my strength, but every time I fell into this virtuous circle. At the age of 16, I realized that I had to quit before it was too late. I am informed about everything that leads to masturbation addiction, how it makes me feel, how it is created, lost time, but with knowing what it brings me, I continue to masturbate, but every time I find the willpower to get up and continue in this fight. Resigned, several times it has gone through my head to do away with it, but I could not make my vice win.
    Currently and as if I had two personalities: a normal one and one when I masturbate. When I do this I completely lose control of myself and the knowledge of time, spending hours and hours in front of a computer, leaving out everything I was doing before. After the senses guilt arise, feeling a failure for the things I do.
    I am a boy with nice and nice physique, I should not have problems to approach with the girls in normal conditions, but the addiction penalizes me totally. I can only deal with girls in those few days of abstinence. I realized that and my current situation of depression and weakness leads me to masturbate creating a vicious circle that leads me to feel worse than before
    I would like to become a better person, be myself, better express my potential, follow my dreams, fuck ... but addiction blocks me in this. I have a lot of willpower, but it does not allow me to stop, so I'm looking for someone to advise me and help me to stop. The thing I want most and free me from porn-masturbation addiction
    P.S. Sorry for my english
    Thanks to all those who will support me on this long journey for liberation
     
  2. LakeMichigan

    LakeMichigan Fapstronaut

    @Luke 765 welcome to nofap. I am glad you decided to address this issue at a very young age. This will save you a ton of time and energy in your future but you should be willing to stick to this decision and work towards it.

    You are only 16 and you have plenty of time to fuck. I suggest you focus on building regular friendships because opposite of addiction is connection (with other people). You also noted that you are isolating yourself when you are in front of your computer days at a time. When you have plenty of friends and are having a good time hanging out with them you will have less pull towards porn.
    This is a vicious circle: You spend time in front of the computer and that makes you friendless and because you are friendless you will spend a lot of time in front of the computer. This circle strengthens addiction as the time passes and it becomes harder and harder to overcome this addiction.
    Developing hobbies and focusing on your studies will help you achieve your potential.
    I encourage you to come here regularly and start your own journal and you will make progress.
    I wish you good luck!
     
  3. Luke 765

    Luke 765 Fapstronaut

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    @LakeMichigan Thank you for your answer. Can you advise me how to deal with the impulses that come to me during the study or other activities, because in most of the times I get overwhelmed
     
  4. oyunbaz44

    oyunbaz44 Fapstronaut

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    good luck my friend
     
  5. LakeMichigan

    LakeMichigan Fapstronaut

    Yes, I get overwhelmed myself and I also get urges when I am stressed. Doing exercise/playing sports on a regular basis helps and so does yoga and meditation. Breaking your work in to small pieces and focusing on one thing at a time also helps. The biggest thing about overwhelm is that there are too many things in our brain so writing those down on a paper and making a plan and following that plan gives you confidence in yourself.
    I my self am trying to do all of the above with varying success but one thing going for you is your age. The more you practice above techniques the easier it gets.
     
    Luke 765 likes this.

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