New here, looking for encouragement.

Hello everyone.

My names Dave and I imagine I have a similar story like most people on here.

I’m 22 years old and have been masturbating frequently to porn since I was 11 or 12 years old. I was first exposed to porn as young as 9 years old and I was fascinated ever since that day. As soon as I was old enough to ejaculate and have time alone with a computer I was hooked.

I’m 99% sure I’ve never had a wet dream, ever. Because as soon as I could release at 11 or 12 years I was PMOing every few days and gradually it escalated to every day, and by the time I was 14/15 years old it was every day if not twice a day, sometimes more.

I never thought it was a problem until I was 15 and had my first semi sexual experience with a real girl and I could not get hard at all. Completely limp.

I put it down to me being nervous and played it off. About a year later, the same thing happened. Again I put it down to nerves, this destroyed my confidence with girls and whenever I had the chance to get intimate I would never let it escalate to below the belt.. when I was 17 years old I met my girlfriend that I’m still with now (nearly 5 years) and again, the same thing happened.

Every time we would get intimate I wouldn’t let it get below the belt. Still I would return to porn and think I can get hard to porn so I mustn’t have any form of E.D just nerves.

Eventually as I got more confortable with my gf and slowed down on the porn I did notice that sometimes with a lot or foreplay I could get maybe 50% hard and managed to have intercourse. But I was numb down there and she had to ride me like a cow girl on crack to get me to nut, and it wasn’t enjoyable for either of us.

Long story short we’re still together nearly 5 years on and about 2 years ago I realised my ED and lack of real sex drive were all down to my PMO habits. I have tried and tried to stop PMO but I always fail..

For the last year I have been on and off with 3-4 weeks no PMO and I notice gradual improvements but I always turn back to porn. Recently I have failed big time. I have been on a binge the last month or so secretly PMOing once or twice a day and I feel disgusted in Myself. We havent had much sex lately because it just doesn’t interest me. I’m so desensitised from my habits that I’d rather get my kick from PMO than have sex with a real girl.. how sad is that. I am so lucky to still have her by my side and supporting me, but she doesn’t know how bad it’s gotten recently. I really want to break this cycle for good and fix my PIED for good. I have just installed a porn blocker on my phone which will help, but I really want to find an accountability partner who can help me.

Today marks yet another attempt to break the cycle. I’m so addicted to PMO it makes me scared. If anyone can help me control urges and cravings please reach out.

Sorry for the novel guys, it helps to vent it out sometimes.


Best wishes to you all on your own journeys.

Dave.