New to this but I need to get better

Tough situation but you're here for a reason. In the same boat, tried to stop - have made it to 16 days and was attending 12 step meetings (SA). They do help but I find that these people that are dedicated are going to 5 meetings a week or more, some have been doing this for 20 years. I don't have the gas money or that kind of time. It is a shame what this does to us. The last time I acted out, I flipped out when looking in the mirror and had a very angry face. I have rationalized it, tried to moderate it and make it work, but it always comes down to the way I feel afterwards. It will kill your motivation and self esteem, and the obsession with all the images we've seen brings on a craving that is hard to stop. Now I know I've got to get back here and go to some meetings again. This is something you will most likely never be able to do alone, you need help from other people that are going through the same thing. I stopped committing and it always comes back full circle to bite you in the ass again. You have a long history with it and it won't be easy but I hope you can find some inspiration and help here. I'm back here once again looking for the same because there is really no choice. It is living in bondage.

 

Cold turkey only lasts so long if you act out again. As stated above, I made 16 days - after this last episode I've been good but the temptation comes back. The only thing you can do is come here to get reminded of what you're dealing with, so you wake up. I'm dealing with it today, it is always the same - you forget the pain you endured when the urge starts building again and you become mindless. Right now I'm of the mindset to tackle this one day at a time and get busy with other things. It's funny how the urge will disappear when you get involved with something else, but it will come back. One step at a time.

 

Welcome to NoFap @Want_to_get_better
It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take new e-course that Mark Queppet launched in his new website, called: " REFORGED MAN: Quit porn and Master Yourself-Be a Man you Admire", it is the updated version of the e-course he used to have in NoFap Academy. It is not cheap ($200) but it is totally worth it because he gives great toold to fight PMO.You can find it here:
https://courses.universalman.com/courses/reforged-man
You can also join his website called Patreon, where he posts great stuff for free every week, and also you can join the pay area to be part of his weekly video calls where you can chat with them in real life, get coaching and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. You can find it here:
https://www.patreon.com/home

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho

 

Thanks so far so good, coming back here every day is essential.