Nofap 90 days zero effects still that social phobic

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Samarth Grover, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. Samarth Grover

    Samarth Grover New Fapstronaut

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    I started doing nofap in october 6 .. and thought this wud bring me confidence ..and a social animal.. still i am the same slow thinker .. slow worker..as i have now completed my 90 days.. and my talking abilites were improved in first 2-4 days afterwards everything is now as same as it used to be..
     
  2. Notmandy

    Notmandy Fapstronaut

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    Hey Samarth;
    Congrats on doing your 90 days. That's a big deal!!! I'm sorry you didn't see the change that you wanted. NoFap is meant to heal you from an addiction and everyone's results are different. I'm not sure who told you that quitting masturbation makes you cofident and social, but those this don't come when you stop masturbating. They come from pushing yourself and meeting people! Look, you passed the 90 days! I bet now you can push yourself to going out and meeting new people. The journey isn't over for you!!!
     
  3. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you were only abstinent, but didnt develop any new skills?

    And what's bad about being a "slow worker, slow thinker" ... Maybe you are a "thorough worker, thorough thinker" ?
     
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  4. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    This is the part where you begin going out and expanding your social circle. What's stopping you from making plans with someone this weekend?
     
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  5. Sam_Tri

    Sam_Tri Fapstronaut

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    Not fapping is the essential first step. Congratulations! You can be proud about that!
     
  6. lazyleaf

    lazyleaf Fapstronaut

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    Although you should already be proud of this, but I can't really help you on this... just take things slowly and be yourself... If you wanna be a social animal, you are, you just struggle to tell it to people, just remember the keyword: TRUST.
    Trusting someone is never a 100% safe bet. But it's how so many great things have happened, and it's what makes us civilized people. You're not a psycho nor a savage nor a bad person for not trusting people in your situation. The ones who don't trust BY CHOICE are unnatural, you are a wonderful person, remember that. You just have to find your personal way.
     
    SnowWhite likes this.
  7. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    First off, Congratulations on making it so far ! Not everyone could do 90 days without no pmo so be proud of that ! Next, In my opinion, I would say that the "benefits" you gain from NoFap don't come around the same time as everyone else's does... you might see your benefits soon... you might see them later on... man it might take you a whole year to see your benefits but the whole point is everyone's journey and time is different. Try to be patient, you never know when you start feeling or experiencing those positive changes... it's a healing process . The gains you get from NoFap should never be guaranteed but the reason on doing NoFap should always be understood .
     
  8. Samarth Grover

    Samarth Grover New Fapstronaut

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    I want to be tht easy going charismatic .. social guy!! :(
     
  9. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Then just be it.
     
    SupBruh likes this.
  10. Samarth Grover

    Samarth Grover New Fapstronaut

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    Howww
     
  11. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    This is something that actually got me into the nofap community recently. There are a ton of youtubers promoting "nofap" as the Snakeoil to heal all your ailments.
    For me it is day 15 now and I have way less trouble pulling through then I expected. At least so far.
    As for personal being, confidence and charismatic, a lot of things you wrote ring true for me as well. I have a huge struggle talking to strangers, let alone women.

    And, as with everything, change doesn't happen on it's own.
    As Freee said, that you achieved 90 days noPMO is quite the feat. So why not use the gained momentum and start something new. Work out a little. Reduce your belly size or pack on some muscles on your biceps to flex a bit (not anabolic gym style, just something to be proud of). Such things build confidence.
     
  12. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    Hi @Samarth Grover
    I have been wondering about that during each and every "not-so-short" streak of PMO and my answer is that NoFap is not going to solve each and every problem one have/might have. Yes I have social anxiety too, but simply abstaining from PMO didn't do much for it (at least not lately), and I still find that I have to do something else if I ever going to get (mostly) rid of it.

    I would encourage you to find the new gifts that NoFap has given you (because lets face it, I would be surprised if you didn't get any kind of benefit from 90 days porn-free) and begin a new journey towards socialization.
     
  13. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Dont label yourself in a negative way, you can decide the type of person you want to be by creating and adhering to your own social identity. Im on day 130 hc no pmo today. I have come a long way but am still not where I want to be socially. Keep doing nofap benefits come deep into the streak I promise. As for your social anxiety, nofap is not enough. You have to go out and consciously make connections with people, its hard but we can do it. Be yourself dont give a fuck about what other people think and step outisde your comfort zone by initiating conversation with others. As soon as you see yourself as a social person and start reaching out to others your communication skills will develop and your anxiety will fade. Start small if you have to, but make yourself start talking face to face with people you dont know and your skills and mindset will improve. Im still working on taking my own advice, but just keep trying to be more social and meet new people, inevitably you will establish deeper connections with people.
     
  14. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    We've all been there. Wanting to be someone we really are not.

    You have to see the positive aspects of who you really are - rather than thinking "I'm terrible and poor at whatever I do, so I need to follow someone else's advice to a T", it should be "I'm quite Okay, but I could improve with this or that".

    To address the "How?"... Go out and socialize if that's who you want to be. No one but you is stopping you from going out this Thursday night (it's probably students' night if you live in a major city too, so opportunity to meet lots of young people). That's really the only requirement to be that easy-going, social guy.
     
  15. Roronoa

    Roronoa Fapstronaut

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    I want to congratulate you for all your efforts and for going that long. Seriously, 90 days is some serious shit, I can't even manage to stay three days no PMO man! You should be proud of yourself. As for the results you excepted to see, I think you should view things in another angle: I read a lot of posts here about people gaining "superpowers" after abstaining from PMO, especially being more social and noticed by women. But if they managed to do so, they did it because they changed their whole lifestyle, they did new activities, socialized more, they improved the quality of their life. It's not only about abstaining from PMO, it's about making the building blocks for a new better life. So honestly if you were "sober" for 90 days, I don't think that you can't make some changes in your life. I'm not a social expert or whatsover, far away from this, in fact I have a lot of social problems like you do, I'm just a normal college student who want to change his life, and I will keep on trying no matter what. The most important thing to do right is to make what you want a reality and I'm sure you can.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2017
    Everything999 likes this.
  16. Everything999

    Everything999 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe the problem that is holding you back isn't pmo?
     
  17. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for making this post. I found it encouraging. I'm 78 days in and while I did notice considerable improvements during the first 14 days, ever since then, I've been my usual anxious, socially awkward self. It's good to know I'm not the only one out there.
     
    the promise likes this.
  18. the promise

    the promise Fapstronaut

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    Ok you git pretty good answer dude so ill be short for. You not to get tired . Its not youre fault that youre not an social animal i think you said , technology has made people cinical selfish and egocentric so by talking to a persone its doble difficult , try talking to an elder you will understand then and congrats dont stop ther keep.it going !
     
    staub likes this.

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