NoFap Day 261

So basically today is day 261 day of NoFap HARD mode and I essentially want it to be done,

Spoiler: Triggers

I want to fuck a girl and just cum inside of her. The reason I started NoFap was because of PIED, some girl gave me head and I did not get aroused whatsoever, now I feel like I would but it literally fucking kills to be so embarrassed that my dick wasn’t getting hard to this girl that I should’ve been fucking that night. I’ve had the opportunity to fuck multiple girls and it’s either been I couldn’t get hard or I just dismiss it because I’m too scared of not getting hard.

So basically I want to try pills I feel like I wouldn’t get prescribed them if I just went to the doctors and I would feel like embarrassed doing so. I just want to be like everyone else at this point, I am willing to buy it off of a sketchy site if I have to the problem is Ive been trying and it either doesn’t work or they say they couldn’t take funds out of my card, it’s just one of those sketchy websites offering like 10 100mg pills for like $36, I don’t know what to do. I need advice bad, I am only 19 years old and this shit kills my ego and self esteem. I just want to be able to have good and satisfying sex and if I can’t have that then I just don’t want to be here anymore because I couldn’t ever find a girl who would be down for a sexless relationship, I’ve tried that. And guess what happened, she started fucking one of my best friends. So at this point I’m willing to do whatever I can to get my hands on some drugs, I don’t want to fail it’s literally the worst feeling in the whole world. Please reply and give me some advice

thanks

 

Spoiler: TRIGGER WARNING

The thing is I really do not know if I have it or not, I haven’t had the opportunity for sex in some time now and Im worried about it happening again, I feel like if I don’t have ED anymore which is probably the case, then I could go soft just from feeling the pressure and being too caught up in my thoughts, especially if it’s someone new. The thing is my wet dreams have shifted into normal stuff, some bitch (my old coworker) lmfao was all over my dick in my dream and she was like I wanna have sex and shit and in my head I felt ready I was like this seems good like I actually feel like if I tried It would go well, this was in my dream of course and I woke up with the most cum I’ve ever had in my shorts. Obviously this was my dream so it’s like idk but I feel like it’s a sign and she was just grinding on my dick and I nutted, I can also get hard to stuff I couldn’t get hard to before, like just a girl in a bikini, before I couldn’t get hard to anything unless it included feet, I am over that now, I feel like it’s a confidence thing at this point, I just need to convince myself that everything will be just alright, I really don’t want to fuck this up I have been waiting for this moment for years. Ever since I started escalating I knew something was not right. What do you think I should do?