Not inspired enough for nofap anymore

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Abzu, Nov 29, 2019.

  1. Abzu

    Abzu Fapstronaut

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    so for me twice 100+ days of abstinence in last 1 year felt like hardly any improvement. I don't like being around people, not even my family and nothing changed during that period. I am feeling nofap is not as priceless as people make it out to be.

    I have seborrheic dermatitis due to excessive fapping and it got reduced significantly during those streaks and another advantage was guilt completely got vanishes though i do regret other stuff and things in the past.

    This might sound paranoid, but i haven't seen anyone talking about this condition here it's called PATM (People are allergic to me). It started around 5 and half years for me when i started sleeping all the time and used to suppress my emotions alot.

    I have heard this disease happens due to stress, anxiety, fear etc. according to genuine article i found about it on internet. I really believe the line i read somewhere "you gave away your powers to become a better person" and it's a result of fear based thinking.

    Whole day i hear at the backside of the street people coughing, sneezing etc. even my family such as my mom, sister, brother have this reactions around me but very moderate. I have a really bad attitude about it so i start shouting and verbally abusing them. It makes me an angry beast and i just can't help it.

    I even see these reactions while watching videos on youtube and that's why i stopped watching livestreams it's really scary for me. I also stopped going out due to this condition. I hardly ever leave the house, we have spent 1 and half year in this house but i have only went out twice that too in last few months. I am really upset about how my life turnaround like this.

    I have lots of stupid obsessions as well like worrying about cables and connectors being not properly places or plugged in properly. Earlier i had this obsession where i would forcefully tighen up the connectors and water taps in the bathroom but that seem to have faded almost completely in last few months.

    I really feel masturbation is evil but i don't know how some people do it without feeling guilt. I really think it's one of the most degrading habit in the history of mankind.
    I also believe it can cause bad spirits or demons to attach to the one practicing it, i have myself experienced this in the past as i used to have terrible sleep paralysis few years ago.

    I also want to get rid of alluring porn scenes that keep playing in my mind of the videos i watched in the past or recently when i relapsed. I sometime get curious and it makes me horny so i want to avoid that.
     
  2. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    i wish i could help more by i can't, my adice is get out of your head and do more to confront your fears. start testing out when the connectors are loose and go talk with your family if you can establish connection with them you know? They should be supportive of this. Go out and talk to cashiers, when buying products and slowly you can get out of your entrenched world.
     
    Hold it in likes this.

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