I'm not sure if this is normal, if this is normal behavior for people who struggle with porn addiction, but I've notice that I am very quiet, sensitive and lonely person and over time all this has improved and I have gotten better but still not quite where I like to be. Like today I didn't really do much ( though I ended up going out yesterday with friends who invited me on the last call) but today I didn't really do much, didn't talk much, only through text but aside that's a bit. That's how most my days be, besides work and even in work I dont talk much ( I got problems with certain people and is driven me even more isolated) I got my food today, ate, went to the gym, ate again, got home and pmo. It all got me to think if I had more of social life would I struggling with this problem? My question is it critical to become way more social to stop pmo? And has anyone here done a tremendous change in their social life and if so how and what can you recommend
I didn't have much friends/social life at my lowest points before I ever started NoFap reboot, a reboot that lasted nearly 1.5 years if I may add. I was very quiet and very lonely when I look back on it now, I went out with 1-2 friends here and there every couple weeks and that was it, I'd go months at a time not going out anywhere socially. As of today I still only have 1-2 friends but they've moved away so I only communicate with them through snapchat these days, the bright spot though is that I have a girlfriend so my social life pretty much revolves around her and her friends which I hang out with occasionally. But it's 95% just with her. Having her has allowed me to look forward to things to do on a Friday, Saturday night. Before her I'd just be at home and it would likely lead to pmo. So to answer your question I feel I have made a tremendous change in my social life, only a few years ago having a girlfriend and being able to talk with a girl period was a pipe dream...that said I still don't have a huge group of friends and I don't consider myself to have an amazing social life, it's essentially just me and my gf, but it has still absolutely helped in kicking my pmo habit. Mainly because I have the real thing now with her. Stay strong, hope this answered some of your questions.
Usually if I’m not at work I’m by myself. I have one friend left along with his family and they live out of town. PMO has left me all alone with zero skill in making new friends. Porn is truly a trap. I go to the gym a lot and travel quite a bit. I’m friendly at work with everyone. But people are only interested in being friendly not interested in being friends. It certainly is discouraging.
You need to start a serious reboot and cut out the PMO. If you actually stick with it you will slowly begin to see and feel the results both mentally and physically. You will become more confident and you'll be able to think clearer. Any porn induced erectile dysfunction will also improve with time, but it's import to not even touch down there except for peeing and bathing for what could be as long as 1+ year. But just to be clear I'm not saying this is easy or a miracle cure, you actually need to be strong and keep at it. Idk maybe just got lucky but your life sounds a lot like me before I broke down in tears one day before deciding to download a dating app where I eventually acquired my first relationship. The most important thing right now is to stop the pmo immediately, do not delay further and further because that's how the trap continues its cycle and before you know it it's been decades of the same pathetic pmo cycle. You can do it.
It's funny you say that because at 1 point in my life when I was actually doing really good with this NoFap and did one year of no pmo. I I was where you are right now and I also could not imagine myself talking or even having relationships with girls Which I did within that time and I did try very hard and had multiple relationships But everything kind of came to an end When I went through a really pad break up and went through a lot. And I was just like you were my girl at the time was like my all and looking back I've come to realize it was good and bad because once that was gone it exposed me to lot of other problems and emptiness that i still had. But is definitely help me in my life over all to have those experiences. After all that I ended, I went back to pmo but luckily not as bad as it once was before that. But still bad
I agree with this. I dont know how you present yourself to the world but usually I'm very quiet and being from NY I have my defensive up and appear not friendly which is the opposite of what I want. Sometimes I can't help that. I made it a goal to hang out with people outside of work and luckily I have but being comfortable around them is another topic.
Ya I can see how it can be good and bad for a girlfriend to be your all and everything because if it ends you immediately go back to loneliness. I personally don't fear that too much, we've been dating for almost 2 years now and we've even traveled outside the country together on vacation. So it's very stable. For me I don't even know where to start in getting new friends, even though my anxiety and confidence issues have improved I'm still a shy person by nature.
Im definitely happy for you and wish you the best. Where did you meet your girlfriend if you dont mind me asking if you're such a shy person lol
Well, problems in life tend to be a matter of degree rather than kind, coz it's all connected. Say a spouse wants a divorce; it may not objectively necessary, but that particular spouse has had enough. It's relative. So too with your fine question about being more social in order to reboot. The answer is not categorical. If, for instance, we are at our best when writing, hiking in the Outback, rafting across the Ocean -- all things that could help our reboot -- we'd be NoFap nicely without becoming more social. However -- and this is the thing -- all addictions are also _emotional_ attachments to a thing or an activity, so... if we can replace it with healthy emotional attachments, we can let go of the addiction. Normal emotional attachments would traditionally be with actual people in actual real-time, especially if we allow ourselves to really treasure, enjoy, and nurture the relationships (with parents, friends, lover, spouse...whomever provided it be real and preferably intense so that it's easier to let go of that pesky addiction). One more thing: the question "do I _have_ to...?" does sound a bit like the addiction looking for a way not to make it's dysfunction obvious. The answer is no you don't technically have to but the degree to which you succeed socially is the degree to which you have made it easier for yourself to replace the emotional addiction with a health/healthier one -- provided the object(s) of your social energy aren't wack jobs. Good luck, guy!
dear, it is one thing lead to another... for now just focus on how you reach your goal about nofap what ever it is 3 or 5 months or more... then when you make sure that this isn't a problem anymore you can just then make improve on your social life.. trust me it is more easy than you think to make friends or hang out with whoever you want.. don't think of it as a problem and it won't be.
Thank you and likewise. I met her on a dating app, we are both each others first relationships and we talked through there and eventually through text for a few months before actually arranging our first date. So when we finally met in person it felt like I've already known her for a while..which I did.
