OCD, PMO and Spiritual Struggle

All I see is a sea of uncertainty.

Salvation is questionable at this point, hope also fades with time.

I live in spiritual warfare most of the day, and during the week, I struggle with evil thoughts and distortions in religious ideas and concepts.

My mind is attacked a lot, it receives arrows from the evil one that always hit the most fragile part: doubt and uncertainty.

After all, why do something if the destination is hell?

It is a complicated issue, which hits the Achilles heel of most Christians.

Furthermore, there is also the hypothesis of false prophets and false prophecies, which generates a constant state of paranoia and denial about what is, in fact, coming from God, and what is not.

It is, without a doubt, the hardest battle of my life. That of the mind.

While external battles, you can see the enemy, not in your mind. This manages to camouflage itself through thoughts coming from the brain and thoughts “played” by this or these agents of darkness that make us fall into sin, bringing the idea that there is no longer a way for us.

While all this happens, life passes by and we park ourselves at a certain point. We don't know where we're going or what will happen to us, and this uncertainty consumes our vital energy and sanity.

On the 25th I became very paranoid, which made me fall again. This enemy action has become commonplace: catching me where I am most off guard, in my thoughts.

I'm still thinking about ways to get out of this.

That same day, approx. At 1 am, I started seeing black shadows in the room. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe it's not.

The fact is that everything is very strange. There is no longer a joy in serving God, much less a hope for me.

The prophecies and revelations have ceased (I am Pentecostal). I don't know what to do anymore.