Old Man Here....

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by zach1575, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. zach1575

    zach1575 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 48 years old, porn has pretty much ruined the last 22 years of my life. Like most people, had a reasonably normal childhood, parents divorced when I was a kid and had a nasty stepdad but nothing too crazy. Was a shy kid but as I grew older and more attractive I had a fair number of girlfriends in my teens and early to mid 20's. I am certain that had internet porn been around in those days, I'd still be a virgin today.

    I looked at porn in my teens and (early to mid) 20's but in those days it mainly consisted of looking at magazines and the occasional video, once a day for maybe 10 or 20 minutes. Never interfered with my sex life. My problems didn't start until I moved out of state for a job in 1997, was lonely and discovered internet porn for the first time.

    The addiction happened almost immediately, especially after I was able to gain access to an ISDN line. In those days there was no high-speed internet for most so having an ISDN line in your home was as close as you could get. Not much free porn on the net either so I spent my nights trolling newgroups. I smoked weed as a teen but had quit when I went to college. To enhance the experience, started to smoke again almost daily.

    Symptoms are probably what you would expect for a guy who's been looking at net porn at least every other day for 20+ years. ED big time when with a woman, usually have no problems when I'm watching porn so it's clearly porn-induced. Have lost 4 or 5 girlfriends over the past few years as a result. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, physical problems I believe are related to porn. Have a myriad of withdrawal symptoms when I try to stop, especially insomnia. Also have severe social anxiety, not normal for a guy in his 40's to suddenly develop that.

    Would be interested to know if there any other guys out there (over 40) who are dealing with this. At the same time, it does feel good to find so many young men who are discovering how serious this problem is and dealing with it sooner rather than later. I think it's probably too late in a lot of ways for me but I still believe I can see some improvements in my life by quitting now.
     
  2. ThatAusGuy

    ThatAusGuy Fapstronaut

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    Hey Zach, 45 years old here and know EXACTLY what you are going thru! Your story is almost the same as mine.

    Yes it is hard, but yes it is possible. Start out slow, one day at a time, try to do 3 days, 5 days, 7 days etc.

    My longest streak is 45 days. I've had to start again today which is why Im back here.

    You can do this!
     
  3. Well, i'm 35 so not quite 40, but we both have been through the evolution of internet porn since its start.

    I remember our first modem was 33.6k! and would be lucky to get more than 10 pictures saved, then fast forward to high speed internet you have hours and hours of footage like water from a tap, all free and rather than loading one or two pictures or waiting 5 or so very long minutes for a gallery to load, we get to being able to download complete collections in the gigabytes. I liken it to moving from low strength cheap beer to pure cocaine.

    I had a girlfriend when i was 17 for 5 years, and back then i had the energy and drive to want to get a girlfriend, porn back then was very much a background activity and occasional. but in the end it became the bane of my life and i was a slave to it at the expense of pursuing proper relationships, real human affection.

    I've now been 11 years without sex or intimacy and only recently am i beginning to think about how to go about dating again.

    I've heard someone say this before and it really stuck with me 'no amount of porn will ever love you back'
     
  4. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links toget you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | DayCounter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    rafael33 and zach1575 like this.
  5. zach1575

    zach1575 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys, appreciate the kind words and wisdom!!
     
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  6. Camelon

    Camelon Fapstronaut

    Welcome sir
    U "ve section about ur age group here
    U can choose AP matching & start the journey
    It" s never too late....
     
    zach1575 likes this.
  7. Life's Journey

    Life's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hi zach1575, welcome here, and wishing you loads and strength and good luck on your journey to quit porn. You're never to old to do so! At 39 years old I'm also not the youngest guy myself anymore. Keep up the good work, you can do it!
     
    rafael33 and zach1575 like this.
  8. Darktolight

    Darktolight New Fapstronaut

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    I’m 63!! Just joined the site today. Have tried to stop watching porn on my own for decades and never make it past a month or so. My life would have been so much better had I stopped in my 20’s. But it’s never too late! Found this community on the CNN special. Hoping that talking to others who can relate to this addiction will help me to conquer it once and for all. I wish you and all of us trying to reboot much success!
     
    rafael33 and zach1575 like this.
  9. OpenRoads

    OpenRoads Fapstronaut

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    Hi Zach, I'm also 48 with a very similar story. I'm a day into the 90 day challenge.
     
    zach1575 likes this.
  10. zach1575

    zach1575 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks again!! Am on day 2, trying to keep my schedule busy enough where I don't have much time to think about it. When I've tried to do this before (without support) I literally get withdrawal symptoms that kick-in about day 5. Also hoping increasing my walking from 3 to 5 miles a day will help.
     
  11. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    I recommend to install a counter and a personal journal.
    Good luck!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Completely normal in my mind. Porn creates shame. Shame creates the desire to isolate/hide for fear of being judged by others. That's an element of social anxiety. My social anxiety has much improved since my porn addiction ended. Tough journey--but so so so worth it. I still struggle with occasional porn use, like a 10 minute quick website look to combat being BLAST (Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed, Tired) when I forget to use my tools or momentarily feel like it's not worth the fight. I'm no longer a "slave" to porn and other unhealthy sexual behaviors, but certainly need to stop any porn site visits whatsoever. Porn destroys (my opinion). I want a divorce once and for all with no visitation rights!
     
  13. Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profilesection..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     

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