Only fantasize about blowjob while masturbating

So your journey here aint working well? Since you still M I mean?

 

Ah, I see. I’m not sure if I’m the best suited person to answer your question. Only been here for some weeks. But I will give you my spontaneous thoughts anyway.

First of all: Welcome here! I hope you find the same encouragement on this website as I have. About the fantasies; I wouldn’t worry to much about it. Most people here come from the overload of porn and/or fantasies. It’s hard to see things clearly when your brain is speeding down the fap-highway. You almost lose the sense of what is your true sexuality and what is distortion. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve brought in to my “sexlife” in the past! If I were you I would focus on doing a reboot as explained in the manual of this site. Just aim for sobriety and enjoy life as it gets better along the way. After a while you might be able to give yourself the answer to your questions.

Read on the forum, connect with people, learn more about yourself and what impact PMO makes on your sexuality, brain and body. Wish you the best of luck!

 

Just stop masturbating. Full stop. It does you no favours.

 

You don't mention porn. Do you watch any, or do you actually use your fantasy? If you do, you are at a better place than many members here, who not only replace actual sex with fantasy, but even replace fantasy with porn.

Moreover, what you like in your fantasy does not have to be related to what you like in reality. When sleeping with a girl, your sexual tastes could be perfectly normal. Don't fall into the trap of trying to "prove" yourself you have normal tastes by fantasizing about vaginal intercourse, or weird ones by fantasizing about oral sex.

This world is crazy and it is o.k. to be messed up. The question is if you are happy with it.

 

Dude, I don't get you. A woman performing fellatio is a very vanilla, normal thing.

 

I used to think that too, but I read an essay by Christopher Hitchens where he noted that until very recently it was seen as a homosexual activity, and that for a woman to do it was seen as really strange. Here is a quote from his essay:

"For a considerable time, the humble blowjob was considered something rather abject, especially as regards the donor but also as regards the recipient. Too passive, each way. Too grungy—especially in the time before dental and other kinds of hygiene. [...] And also too queer. Ancient Greeks and Romans knew what was going on, all right, but they are reported to have avoided the over-keen fellators for fear of their breath alone. And a man in search of this consolation might be suspected of being … unmanly. The crucial word “blowjob” doesn’t come into the American idiom until the 1940s, when it was part of the gay underworld [...]"

The full essay is here: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2006/07/hitchens200607
It contains nothing visual or obviously triggering. It goes without saying that if the subject itself is triggering DO NOT GO THERE.

 

Relax dude. A narrow mind can stifle both lust and Love. Even Barbara Bush famously said that all men like oral sex. Relax! I hope you fall in love AFTER you learn that it's not the sex act but the context in which that is key.