Otherwise I wouldn't still be doing it

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Stichting, Apr 24, 2021.

  1. Stichting

    Stichting Fapstronaut

    You are probably familiar with one of the key obstacles when you're committed to nofap hardmode, which are the (near)relapses where it seemed like you had no control over it.

    When you first could manage it at the beginning of the day, but then it got more and more intense. To the point where it seems like you don't care anymore to relapse because it seems inevitable that it will happen anyway, sooner or later. And that if you don't relapse, you will get problems from the stress of the urge.

    That can cause a hopeless feeling, as if you'll never be able to have a streak that is not short, and that there's no special trick to turn it around.

    So now you have a dilemma.

    Or do you?

    Realise the following to get enough strength to continue the next time.

    The fact that it totally feels like you have to relapse or otherwise problems occur, is the thing here. If you imagine what could happen when you persist, it gives positive and rational answers. So if you think about it, it doesn't make sense that something bad will happen mentally or physically.

    Those bad urge days are like the withdrawal of the pattern that you first have. You were always used to a pattern of lower streaks, maybe 0, 1 or 2 days. And the pmo is pretty addictive as you probably know. So those difficult urge moments are a result of getting used to a pattern of longer abstinence. It is also comparable to a muscle that must undergo effort in order to be able to undergo greater effort later.

    Besides that I have some more things I can address shortly. When you're interacting with people in real life, and therefore also women, everything is totally different compared to when you are thinking about them when you're alone. Your mind is too busy doing the right things, instead of not relapsing.
    So next time when you have a struggle with an urge and there are thoughts or images on screen of people involved, image the situation switches to something in real life, like you seeing each other in a public transportation.

    The switch is easy because the surrounding is the only factor that has to change.

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