Hi All, I have to say that I'm so happy that I finally took this step to try and get my arms around what has become an out of control addiction that has began impacting me in ways that I simply can't ignore anymore. I've known it's been a problem for years but only now have taken the first step of a porn and masturbation free life of which I hope there are many more. I guess I'll give a little background on myself and my addiction with the hope that I'm not alone with how desperate this has become. I have Been looking at and fascinated with porn for as long as I can remember. What started as looking at old school playboy magazines as a young kid has grown into an out of control monster that this 42 year old can no longer control. In order to satisfy this addiction, things I'm not into nor ever would be into, are the only things that can even get me hard. I feel so ashamed and sick at myself over this. Sometimes I'll PMO for hours on end. 3,4,5 times per day sometimes. I've made it into routines. When I wake up, before I go to bed, when I'm bored, when I'm not bored, when I anxious, when I'm relaxed, virtually any excuse has become one that I've used to PMO. It's also affecting my sex life. I have to think of things I've seen in porn to climax and often can't get hard due to my reliance on porn and masturbation. I have a fabulous girlfriend and she's blazing hot so the fact I need to think of weird shit I've seen in porn while we have sex makes me even more ashamed and angry at myself. I'm hopeful that the support and encouragement I get on this site and reading other members success stories will help me get through this because I know there's no way I can do this alone. I simply am not strong enough as my past history has shown. I am, however, proud to say that as of this time of writing I've hit my fifth day PMO free which I'm really proud. I know that isn't much compared to some of the other members, but to me, five days might as well be 5000 because I haven't gone that far for as long as I can remember. Im trying to get my brain scrubbed of this and start being normal and experiencing the positive vibes and joy that that comes with it. Sorry for the long post but I'm new to this and just had to get all this off my chest. Thanks for reading and good luck to all!
You should get a counter. It helps you stay on track and keep motivated. A counter is the stat bar that I have below this message. It really helps you stay on track.
