Out of flatline / Horny all the time / need some help

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Mitness, May 30, 2018.

  1. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Jo guys,

    I'm 104 days into reboot and i challenged myself for 365 days without.

    At first I chose this one because I thought it would be necessary for the reboot. I have been addicted to pmo for 21 years.
    But, I am currently 10 days out of flatline, and am always horny.
    I do everything the same. Cold showers, sports, healthy food. But it doesn't go away. I am glad that everything works and that I have a libido again, but it is also very difficult.
    Does anyone have tips on how to deal with this?
     
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  2. dskysblu

    dskysblu Fapstronaut

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    This is totally my opinion and I am not sure whether this will work for you, so take it more of as a suggestion.
    1. Come to the forum, look at other struggling members who aren't able to pass the early stages of their journey and help them out with dealing with their objectives more effectively. You have already come a long way, 105 days is a great achievement, maybe you could inspire new joiners through your exlexperie and help them overcome the initial hurdles.
    2. Whenever you find yourself thinking about sex or similar thoughts, make a rule for yourself e.g. get up walk a few steps and drink a glass of water, it could be as simple as that or as complicated as getting out there and talk to someone at work, around your house or someplace outside in a public place....listen to people's livss, talk to strangers, maybe you'll learn something new, help someone out by doing something as small as lending an ear to what they have to say about their lives etc. Make them feel special, comfortable and valued. Most importantly, this will help you keep your mind off those thoughts
    3. Read something new on websites like quora, find a new hobby, learn a new skill....these things always help
    You're already strong enough to continue your journey. You've come this far through sheer sheer determination and willpower. Think about how you can use this excess energy in other areas (volunteering is another good option).

    I hope this helps.
     
  3. ControlMyLife

    ControlMyLife Fapstronaut

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    great progress brother, 104 days thats awesome.
    all i can suggest you is to minimize the exposure to sexual images, like girls in bikini or other stuff with sexual content.
     
  4. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

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    I noticed that good feelings overflow the drive like beeing happy for someone or laughing...
    My record is 47 days.
     
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  5. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    This is a good suggestion. If you go to websites where you know you'll see sexually suggestive things that are not porn, your mind really only heals so much. For myself I had to identify a handful of places where I came close to the line and then purpose not to go there or see what was there, even though it wasn't porn.

    This changed my over all level of sexual arousal.
     
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  6. immadothis

    immadothis Fapstronaut

    embrace man, it doesn't get easier, you just get better at it, good luck,
     
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  7. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    It will readjust eventually, u just need to pass through this period! Good luck!
     
    DIYAS1 likes this.
  8. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    I was able to embrace and enjoy hornyness and not to be its victim. That is, I enjoy my hard on, but I dont follow it, i don't look up stuff online or offline, and I dont touch myself.
    Acceptance: it is there, it works, it is healthy and it will go away very soon. And it will come back at some point.
     
  9. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    I’m always horny lately too. I have no desire to release though. It’s a constant battle.
     
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  10. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Thank you all for the tips.. I survived. At one point it got so extreme that normally i would relapse. But i stayed strong so i guess i'm good to go for another 100 days! Yihaaaa
     
  11. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    I guess i'm doing it right as you said. I was not fighting it, just feeling it and in the end, although the urges were extreme strong, i saw it as a game..
     
  12. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    Hey Mitness, you're doing it right, and iif that's any consolation for you I've had the exact same horny tunnel between 100 and 200, then it kindda stopped for a bit, and came back on a more "normal" kind of sexual desire after 400. It took a very long time for me because I'm very very fucked up ;)
     
    Teuthtobetold1 likes this.
  13. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the reply. I already thought something like this would happend. In the beginning i was happy to be in a flatline, but i never really had the idea i was learning something. When i stopped using drugs and alcohol i still went to places were people used and so i learned to abstain even though it was right under my nose. So actually i'm kinda happy i'm out of flatline. I cant say for 100% but i think i'm 95% sure i wont relapse, so as i wrote, it's just a game i'm playing now. And besides learning to deal with the urges, i kinda like the fact that my body and mind are working. I can honestly say i'm also fucked. I became porn addicted since i was 9 years. But, already when i was 7 or 8 i experienced what sex was. (it was a sort of abuse, but i ain't got no trauma's) But, after that happened my life went downhill. So i'm just happy that my tast in woman is quit normal haha. And that my body is just working how it suppose to work..Thanks again for the reply and how fucking awesome it is that you already are so far in your journey. 500+ days. Die hard!
    I'm just wondering.. The " The most comprehensive NoFap review from a 700 days veteran, and why it's only the beginning" link is not working.

    Do you have the right link?
     
    Bijuu107 likes this.
  14. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    Oh no, I can't seem to find it. Guess the original poster updated the thread with a new title, and now it's lost :/
     
  15. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    U just have to ride it out. It happened to me me too. I was crazily honey day in and day out so that even a tea pot looked “ hot” for me. It will pass. Trust me.
     
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  16. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Thanks, will dive in to it tomorrow..
     
    Arj16 likes this.
  17. I would recommend mindfulness meditation. It has helped me tremendously for learning how to deal with urges, nothing else even stands close. You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation really. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience.

    Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because urge is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have release. Or we want pleasure. And inability to have pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    I gotta agree with @Sc8r51o1n on this. Acceptance it's what it's all about. Acceptance and mindfulness practice is very powerful if done right. Way more powerful than any concentration exercise will ever be in my opinion. There is good Ted talk on this:



    This mindfulness and acceptance practice ideally should be combined with formal sitting meditation for at least 20 minutes a day, the more the better tho. This is method I personally use and recommend - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL603BD0B03E12F5A1
     
  18. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    This is very good advice. I do this, even though I'm only a short time since my last relapse. When you are helping others, it gets you out of yourself.

    The 'New To NoFap', the 'Porn Addiction' forums - there are others where really new or hurting people come for help.
     
  19. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    So, i gave in.
    I did it 4 times in total. Monday 1 time. Tuesday 1 times. Wednesday 1 times and Thursday 1 times. I don't really feel very guilty. I have masturbated on physical sensation without looking at porn and even without fantasy about porn. I am not proud of it, but fortunately no shame and no guilt. It was actually quite okay. The best orgasm since I stopped using amphetamine and porn. However, I would like to continue on the road to full recovery. Because even though I didn't feel guilty and know that relapsing is part of the job, I noticed, after 2 times I wanted more. I was even thinking about using porn again.
    You lie to yourself very easily. You make excuses as to why it is justified to do it. But when it comes down to it, there is only one justification, and that is simply keeping to your agreement.
     
    DIYAS1 likes this.
  20. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    This is good. Porn is the most destructive part of this.
     
    DIYAS1 likes this.

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